Circus Life
by Miss48
Summary: High School is over and it's time for Finn and Rachel to face their future. But will their own ambitions tear them apart?
1. Graduation

Rachel rose up onto her tip toes and reached her hands out to adjust Finn's tie. He had been messing with it lazily for the past 5 minutes. It was a nervous habit he had developed from performing in Glee and it drove her a little nuts. He smiled down at her with his lazy half smile that sent butterflies loose in her belly.

"Thanks baby" he said in his silky voice.

She just smiled at him as she lowered herself back down onto her flat feet. And ran her hands down her sides to flatten the red gown she wore. It was hot in the hallway outside the auditorium at William McKinley that day as the senior class milled around waiting for the graduation ceremony to begin. Rachel could not believe that this day was finally here, that she was graduating from high school. 4 years ago when she walked into the doors of William McKinley High School for the first time she would never have imagined high school would work out the way that it did. It had been less than a week before she was slushied for the first time and her freshman year had been hell, she was the weird musical girl who dressed funny and was over ambitious. Then sophomore year she found Glee and her high school journey began to change. Sure she still got slushied at first and people thought she was still a freak but she was no longer a freak alone. As Glee Club grew, Rachel's social standing grew and while the year was a rollercoaster of ups and downs for her it was a changing point. When the year ended Glee Club had been defeated but it had made them come back stronger than ever and ready to kick some vocal adrenaline butt. But the best that happened to her life that year had been 1 Finn Hudson. The tall, gorgeous captain of the football team and amazingly talented lead male of Glee had once seemed so unattainable. But she had misjudged herself and from the moment he told her he loved her at Regional's she was totally and completely in love with him. She was so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't even realized that Kurt had been speaking to her.

"Rachel….hello?" he said growing impatient with her.

She looked up at him coming back to reality and smiled. She had grown really close to Kurt over the past couple years, especially after his dad had married Finn's mom. Things had been rough in the Hummel/Hudson home for a while but Finn quickly realized that his mother's happiness was more important to him, well that and the suggestion that maybe Kurt and he should not share a room. Now Finn and Kurt as a strong brotherly relationship which was something Rachel felt they both needed. They were so different and yet so similar, which was the case with most teenagers.

"Yeah sorry Kurt, what's up?" she smiled in his direction.

"Glee Club senior party tonight, sound good?" he asked.

"Yeah great idea? At your place?" she questioned wondering what he was wearing under his white gown. She could only imagine what a fashion crisis it was for him to be covering whatever fashion forward outfit he was wearing with the generic one size fits all McKinley gowns. His cap was placed perfectly on his head, tilted at a slight angle and it made her reach up and touch her own subconsciously.

"Yeah my dad and Carole are leaving after the ceremony for a wedding they have to attend tomorrow. I promised no parties but this will be more of a shindig, if you will" he smiled at her.

She shook her head and started to respond when Ms. Sylvester started to yell into her megaphone to get lined up. Rachel turned around to give Finn a big hug before she had to hurry up to the front of the line with the other B's. Finn broke away from his conversation with Puck about college ball and leaned down to give his tiny girlfriend a big bear hug. As his large arms embraced her in a tight hug he gave her a soft kiss on her lips. She broke away from his embrace with a large smile and fixed her white honors sash before walking off to the front of the line. Finn watched her walk away, wondering what she wore under her red gown as a crooked smile crossed his lips.

The senior class walked two by two into the auditorium to the tune of Pomp and Circumstance. They were a sea of red and white gown, the boys in white and girls in red as they made their way to their seats across from the stage. Rachel glanced around the auditorium and spotted her Dad's on the right side a few rows back. Up in the front row of the balcony she saw Carole and Burt smiling largely and clapping. On the stage was a row of chairs for the teacher's who were going to speak at the ceremony and help give away the diploma's as the class took their seats Mr. Shue, Principal Figgins, Coach Sylvester and Ms. Pillsbury took their seats on the stage. Rachel was only half listening as Principal Figgins began to talk about the Class of 2012, the achievement and the future they held before them. It was the usual high school graduation type of stuff and as Rachel glanced around at her classmates she noticed that most of them were not paying attention fully to what Figgins was saying. Then he broke to introduce the Valedictorian, Glee's own Artie Abrams. Artie wheeled his chair to center stage and stopped in front of the mic. Now Rachel was paying attention. She had known Artie had been nervous about his speech and they had spent one of their last Glee practices helping him work out what he was going to say. 3 years ago Rachel herself was on track to become the class Valedictorian but she would admit that her grades had slipped a little when she started dating Finn, nothing horrible since she was still graduating with honors and was ranked in the top 10 in the class standings.

"Good Afternoon, friends and family, teachers and administrators. We stand, gathered together to celebrate the accomplishments of the McKinley High School Class of 2012.

To my fellow classmates, we've made it. We've finally made it. After 4 long years, we are graduating. Congratulations. Congratulations not only to us graduates, for achieving excellence in academics, athletics and the arts, but also congratulations to our teachers, parents, friends, families and administrators. Our success is your success, for you have given us the freedom to dare, the courage to excel and the belief that we can achieve our best. You have been there for us with support and care; you had faith when we doubted ourselves. For all these things, we, the Class of 2012, thank you.

Together for the last time, we stand poised at the very edge of graduation, looking towards a bright future. Soon each of us will go forth, in his or her unique direction, seeking to make a mark upon the world.

We stand, as if before a row of thousands of doors, each door different from another, each potent with opportunities for every one of us. We must try at these doors, opening them to look at what lies within. Passing through some doors, we will have to set aside fear and prejudice before we may advance. To unlock others, we will have to uphold our sense of justice and dignity. If a door suddenly shuts before us, we cannot be discouraged, but instead must look for the sudden opening of another. Our adulthood, so long anticipated, has now arrived. We have grown up. We must seize our future and taking it into our own hands, do with it what we will, striving towards excellence. We join forth now, in hope and inspiration, all of us sharing our common legacy."

As Artie's speech ended the auditorium erupted in cheers and clapping. Rachel smiled largely, she could feel tears form at the corner of her eyes. This was it, the end of an era! She had survived high school and come out on the other side better, stronger and even more ambitious than she had come into it.


	2. The Party

Chapter 2

Rachel pulled her duffel bag out from under her bed and began to pack some things for the night. She was really excited for this party this evening. It might be the last time she got so spend time with all her gleeks together as one. After Graduation had ended her Dad's took her out to Breadsticks for a celebratory dinner that seemed to last forever. She loved spending time with her Dad's but really she wanted to get home and changed into something more comfortable than the dress she had chosen for Graduation. And more importantly she wanted to get over to Finn's house and spend time with her friends. She was dressed in jeans, a white tee and a pink hoodie. Her style had changed a bit since sophomore year. Yeah she was still a big fan of short skirts, sweaters, knee socks and polka dots but she incorporated more jeans and tee shirts into her repertoire as well. She put a second pair of jeans and a purple shirt into her duffle bag along with clean panties, her pajamas and other necessities. She brushed her hair back into a loose, low ponytail and walked to her bathroom. She opened her medicine cabinet and removed her birth control pills, popping 1 into her mouth. She had been on the pills for over a year but Finn and her had only become sexually active recently and it was the most amazing decision ever. Their physical relationship only strengthened their already strong emotional bond. She left the bathroom and slung her bag over her shoulder before leaving her room. She bounded down the stairs and threw her bag on the floor by the front door.

"Dad" she called out "Papa"

"In here sweetheart" she heard the voice come from the living room.

She walked into the living room and smiled at her Dads who were seated next to each other on the loveseat watching HGTV. They looked up at her as she entered the room.

"Heading out?" her dad asked.

"The Glee girls are having one last get together at Tina's" she lied through her teeth. She hated lying to her Dad's but at the same time they would never allow her to spend the night at Finn's. If they found out that she was sleeping with him they would freak and Rachel knew there was some things she just had to keep to herself. She was 18 now and big enough to make her own decisions. But she still lived under their roof and respected their opinion.

"Is Finn going to be there" her Papa asked seriously.

"The boys; Finn, Mike, Puck, Kurt, Artie, might stop by and chill for a bit but Tina's parents would not let them stay under any circumstances."

"Okay, well be safe" her Dad said "Do you need a ride?"

"No I'm okay" Rachel told them "Tina is out front"

And with that she bounded out of the house to Tina's small car. She threw her bag onto the back seat and crawled up front next to her friend.

"Hey" Tina said pulling away from the curb

"We are at your house" Rachel told her explaining how she was able to go so easily.

"Right of course, but they won't call" Tina laughed.

"True" Rachel said. And it was, her Dad's trusted her, they never called.

If there was one thing Kurt Hummel lived for it was a good party which was very evident when Rachel arrived at the house. There was soft music playing in the background, a spread of food on the table in the dining room and the living room looked like a 70s club with soft lighting and fabric draped all over. She could only imagine Finn's involvement in this because she had no doubt that Kurt had roped him into helping him set it all up. There was a fire roaring in the fireplace and the room was warm and inviting. She had to give it to Kurt, he knew what he was doing. Most of the club was already there gathered around the table in the dining room or splayed out on the furniture in the living room. There were some other people outside of the club there; Cheerio's, Football and Basketball Players, Etc that other members of the club were friends with. Rachel put her waved a hello as she walked down the hallway to Finns bedroom. She threw her bag onto his bed and was about to leave when he walked out of his bathroom. He was wearing only jeans slung low on his hips, his hair was damp from the shower he must have recently taken.

"Hey baby" he said opening a dresser drawer and reaching in for a tee-shirt.

"Looks nice out there" she said crossing the room to him.

"That's all Kurt" he laughed.

He raised his arms to pull on the tee shirt and she stopped him bringing his arms back down to his side. She slid her arms around his neck and kissed him on the lips. She felt him kiss her back, his tongue sliding across her lips. She granted him access to her warm mouth and he began to walk them backwards towards the bed. His hands were all over her as their tongues tangled together in a familiar dance. They hit the edge of his bed and he picked her up and placed her on the soft comforter. She pulled him down on top of her, his fingers were tangled in her hair and she could feel his excitement pressed up against her thigh. She ran her nails down his bare back as he began to push her shirts up her flat stomach towards her chest. He was driving her crazy, the feel of his hands on her soft skin was making her so wet. Ever since he had taken her virginity less than a month earlier they were like animals, they were all over each other every chance they got and they sometimes got a little adventurous. Finn's head dipped to her neck and began as his hand slipped under her bra and brushed against her nipple. She moaned into his mouth and ground her hips into him. He pulled back and smiled that lopsided smile that drove her crazy. She pulled his lips back down on hers her hands slipping down his rippled abdomen towards his belt.

Suddenly they heard his bedroom door bang open and they both looked up to see Kurt standing in the doorway. His hands were on his hips and he looked pissed.

"What the hell dude" Finn gasped in his direction pulling himself up off of Rachel and pulling his shirt on.

"We have a house full of people and you guys are in here trying to get it off" Kurt snapped at his "brother".

Rachel sat up on the side of the bed running her fingers through her hair that was not officially mussed up.

"So?" Finn snapped back at Kurt.

"So? So? This isn't the playboy mansion" Kurt said furiously

"Why do you care" Finn growled in his direction.

"This isn't really the time..." Kurt growled back.

Rachel stood up seeing a fight brewing between the two. She smoothed her clothing out and made sure everything was back in place. She grabbed Finn's arm and pulled him towards the door and out into the hallway. As they passed Kurt she heard Finn whisper in his direction

"Cock blocker"

Kurt just smiled at them and followed them down the hallway.

Other than the small disagreement earlier in his bedroom the party was a great time. It was a huge success and everyone was having a great time. The party was in full swing when they left Finn's room. Somebody had turned the music up and Britney was dancing in the middle of the living room with Santana and a few other Cheerios. Somebody had brought beer and a couple of the kids were indulging in that. Rachel personally did not drink, never had, but she didn't have a problem with other's doing it. It was high school, it was part of the way things were done. Rachel and Finn worked the room, talking to everyone, singing along with some music and dancing with each other. Hours later as the fire died down and the drinks ran low they were all seated around the living room. It was just the Glee kids left and they were having low conversations with each other. Rachel was on the couch between Finn and Puck. She was leaning into the crook of Finns arm and she could smell his pleasant scent. She was comfortable just being here, at this time with these people. Apparently she was not the only one feeling the same way. Across the room Tina spoke up

"So what was the best part of High School" she asked anyone who was listening.

"Winning Nationals last year" Kurt said with pride

"The Homecoming Game" Quinn said getting agreement from Britney and Santana.

"Beth" Puck said softly and the room quieted.

It wasn't something that he spoke about often, in fact he and Quinn rarely brought up the beautiful baby girl they had given up for adoption at the end of their sophomore year. But Puck had been drinking and the buzz gave him courage to say what he really though. Quinn looked at him from across the room. Their relationship had been rocky, on and off over the years. Rachel didn't even think they knew what they were to each other sometimes.

"Puck" Quinn gasped from across the room.

"What Quinn?" he questioned "You don't think about her, wonder how she's doing, what she's like?"

Quinn just stared at him, really everyone was staring at him. Rachel reached a hand out and laid it on his arm. He looked at her and smiled. She and Puck had had their differenced over the years but he really was a good guy deep down.

"I just think we could have done it, is all, been her mommy and daddy" Puck said softly before standing "I need air".

He left the room and Quinn followed him onto the porch. Rachel looked up at Finn and he smiled at her.

Mercedes began talking about all the Glee fun they had had trying to change the subject but the mood was a little thick in the room now. Rachel put her feet up on the couch where Puck had just vacated and rested her back and head against Finn

"You didn't say what your favorite part was" she said to him

"Regional's, sophomore year" he said running his fingers through her hair.

"Yeah that was good, brought us together as a group for real" Rachel said.

"Well that" he said "And that was the day I realized I love you".

Rachel smiled ear to ear and looked up into his brown eyes.

"What about you?" he asked her.

She smiled "Prom"


	3. Prom

Chapter 3

Rachel opened her closet door and looked at the dress hanging in plastic on the back of the door. It was navy blue satin, strapless and had a cream colored sash and bow at the waist. The dress fit her like a glove and was love at first sight. She had brought Kurt with her to help her find the perfect dress but the dress had found her and Kurt agreed that it was _the_ dress. She was so excited to get to see Finn's expression when he saw her in it. She had spent the whole day with her Glee girls prepping for the big day; nails, toes, hair and make-up were all set. Now all she needed to do was get dressed.

"Papa" she called out from her bedroom door.

Her father came into the room with a smile, camera in hand.

"What is it sweetie?" he asked.

"Can you help me get into this dress?"

"Of course my dear" he said taking the dress from the door frame and removing it from the long plastic bag it had been living in the for last month.

He removed the gown from it's hanger and unzipped it before handing it to her. He looked at his daughter and noticed she was wearing lacy, navy underwear and shook his head.

"I hope that underwear is for your eyes only" he commented as she stepped into the dress and turned to have him zip it, lifting her hair.

"Of course Papa" she said turning to smile at him.

He gave his daughter a sign of relief. They knew that she was with Finn, that she had been with him for a while, but they could not see their little girl as anything more than that, their little girl. She brushed her curled hair loosely over her shoulders and walked over to the full length mirror on her bathroom door. She was shocked at the image staring back at her. She looked good, really good. It was then that she heard the sound of the doorbell ringing through the house.

"Showtime" her Papa said smiling and walked out of her room.

She heard the door open downstairs and her father's welcome Finn into the house. She could hear bits of their light conversation and she knew that Finn must be nervous. It's hard enough on a boyfriend when they had one father to deal with and she had two. She grabbed her clutch off her dresser and slipped into her 4 inch heels. She hadn't been sure she would be able to walk in them but miraculously it had been quite easy. She took one last inventory of her appearance in front of the mirror and then left her room. As she descended the stairs slowly she felt like something out of a movie. Finn looked up at her and he jaw dropped, his eyes were wide and quickly that crooked smirk took over his lips. He was impressed, she could tell, and it made her feel giddy. She joined him at the foot of the stairs where her Dad's proceeded to take two whole rolls of film. She had tried to introduce them to the world of digital photography many times, but they liked their film cameras. They gave them the whole have fun but make good choices speech and then they were out the door on the way to the limo.

"You look amazing" he breathed running his eyes over her again

"So do you" she said. He was wearing a black tux, the vest matched her dress, and he looked so handsome. She had seen him in a suit quite a few times but this tux was so much better than that.

The limo crawled through the streets of Lima picking up their friends. First they stopped and got Kurt, who was wearing a slim fitting brown tux. They had another round of pictures at the Hudson/Hummel house before moving on to pick up Mercedes who was Kurt's date for the evening. Mercedes was wearing a flowing brown suede dress with soft pink accents on the bodice. As Mercedes and Kurt crawled into the limo Rachel spoke up

"You guys look stunning. Wow" they were a perfectly matched pair and she could tell they really had put some thought and time into their ensemble. Of course that should not have been to much of a shock, after all it was Kurt and he was up for Prom King. Next was Puck and Quinn who went with a red and black theme. Quinn's dress was sexy to say the least; red, sparkly, tight and short. She looked like a supermodel and Rachel couldn't help but divert her eyes to Finn. But to her surprise he was looking back at her, it wasn't that she feared anything was still left between the two, but Quinn looked like sex on a stick and she couldn't blame him for looking. But he wasn't, his eyes were on her, more specifically on her chest. She felt that familiar surge of desire shoot through her body. It was amazing what just a look from Finn could do to her. From there they headed to meet the rest of their friends at the restaurant for dinner at Breadsticks.

Dinner had been a great time. Good food, good friends, by the time they left Rachel's abdomen hurt from laughing so much. They really had a great time together and when you got Mike and Puck going it was one of the funniest things she had ever seen. From there it was off to the Lima Player's Club where the prom was being hosted. The decorations were great, lots of glittery red and white, to coincide with the school's colors. The lighting was dim and the dance floor was flashing with the colors from a disco ball overhead. In the corner a DJ was spinning tunes while her classmates milled around the large open room. The group found a table in another corner to put all their stuff down on before heading to the dance floor. The night had been perfect as Rachel dance with all of her friends and her handsome boyfriend. At some point the guys began to loose their clothing, jackets, vests and eventually ties piled up on the table along with clutches and eventually girls shoes.

"Drink?" Finn shouted into Rachel's ear about halfway through the prom.

"Yeah, I'm dying' she laughed as he took her hand and pulled her to the refreshment table along one wall. He got two glasses of punch and handed her one. Finn had shucked his jacket shortly after they arrived. His tie was loose around his neck and a sheen of sweat glistened on his forehead. His hair, while full of product, had somehow managed to find it's way out of place. As she looked at him though she thought he had never looked more beautiful to her. They finished the glasses of punch and he pulled her back out onto the dance floor. She spent the rest of the night dancing, cheering when Quinn and Puck won Prom King and Queen and smiling at the constant stream of flashbulbs her friends sent her way. She was having the time of her life and the four hours flew by. Before she knew it her senior prom was over and she was saying goodnight to her friends as they all went their separate ways.

As Finn opened the door to the limo for her she felt a nervous sensation in her belly. They were going to spend their first night together in a suite at the Lima Hotel. She was excited because they had never spent a entire night in each other's arms but nervous because she had more than sleeping planned for them. Finn had always been excellent with her wanting to wait to have sex but tonight she planned to take their relationship to the next level. Finn crawled into the limo behind her and it began to role. For the first time since she had left her parents house they were completely alone. Finn leaned over and kissed her lightly wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

"Have I told you lately how beautiful you are?"

"Not in the last 20 minutes" she laughed lightly.

"Well then have I told you lately how much I love you" he smiled

"That is something I can never hear to much Finn Hudson"

He leaned down and kissed her a little more forcefully this time, their tongues tangled together and their hands roamed over each other's bodies. Neither of them even noticed the limo had stopped at their destination until the limo driver tapped on the glass. Finn thanked him for everything and they crawled from the limo. They walked arm in arm to into the lobby of the hotel where Finn gave them him credit card as payment and he got a room key.

The room looked like any normal hotel room, clean and sparse. As soon as they were in the door they were on each other. Their mouths pounded against each others, her arms around his neck and his hands stroking up and down her back. He felt himself growing with excitement and started to pull back but Rachel held him to her. This was different and her forcefulness put him into an even more excited state.

"Rach…. Careful" he gasped for air as her lips moved to his neck.

She looked up at him innocently and smiled "What if I'm tired of being careful?"

Finn's eyes grew wide with shock. Did she really just stay that to him, was this real, had he fallen asleep? She cocked her head to the side and looked at him waiting for him to say something but instead his lips just fell to hers again. Her hands moved to his shoulder's pulling the jacket off him. He let his arms fall to his side and she pulled the jacket down. They began to walk backwards towards the bed and all he could think about was getting that beautiful gown off of her. When he felt his legs hit the side of the bed his hands went to her back as he slowly brought the zipper down. The dress fell to the floor around her ankles and she stepped out of it. She pushed him down to a sitting position on the bed and he looked up at her form in front of him. The lacy blue bra was a stark contrast against her creamy why skin. His eyes roamed down her body over her small breasts, down her flat stomach and across the curve of her hips and down her perfect legs to her feet. She looked amazing standing before him in nothing but a bra, panties and four inch heels.

"Jesus Rach, now I know what John Mayer meant when he said 'Your Body is a Wonderland"

Rachel smiled back at him and blushed a little, she had never been this exposed in front of him but it felt right too, as if his eyes were meant to see her like this. It didn't take long for his vest and shirt to join the pile of clothing on the floor and as she ran her small hand down his chest she felt the burn of desire between her legs. He stood then, towering over her and lifted onto the bed. She scooted back against the headboard and he crawled up the bed kneeling in between her legs. He slowly ran a hand over her hip and down the length of her leg until her reached her foot. Pulling her shoe off he tossed across the room and he turned to the other leg, following the same slow trek down her leg. He fingertips barely brushing against her skin but leaving a trail of heat as they did. Her other shoe quickly joined the rest of their formal attire now strewn across the room. They didn't need to say anything, their eyes told the whole story. Passion, love, anticipation and need. He lowered his lips to her leg leaving a trail of kisses up her calf, over the bridge of her knee and across her thigh. As he got closer to her center he could feel the heat coming off her body. A soft moan escaped her lips and he looked up to her, her eyes were clinched shut and she was softly biting her lower lip. It was so hot to see her like this as other hand ran up the length of her leg. She opened her eyes and smiled at him sitting up a little to reach for his belt. She unhooked it and yanked it off throwing it to the side and moving to unbutton and unzip his pants. She pushed them down his hips with both hands and he quickly lifted up to kick them off. She could see his erection straining against the thin fabric of his boxers, she couldn't take her eyes off him, he was beautiful. He carefully lowered himself down on top of her, bringing his lips to hers as his hands snaked around her back to unhook her bra.

He pulled the lacy fabric from her skin releasing her breasts and tossing it aside. His lips left hers and fell to her chest where he brought 1 hard nipple into his warm mouth. The moan she released was more animalistic this time and her back arched into him as he mouth and hands worked on her breasts. He switched from one breast to the other leaving a trail of kissed in the valley that separated them. Her fingers traced the outline of the muscles on his back and her hips involuntarily bucked into his. Her panties were soaked with her own anticipation, she had never felt like this before.

"Oh God Finn" she gasped as she felt his hand slide away from her breast and down her abdomen. He rolled to the side as she parted her legs for him. He began to rub her though the thin fabric of her panties. He was shocked to fell how wet she was

"Oh Rach you are so wet" he gasped into her breast before pulling away. He rose back up onto his knees and quickly removed her of the panties. He looked down at his completely naked girlfriend and wondered how he had gotten this lucky. She was perfection in his eyes.

Then before she knew what was happening she felt the most amazing sensation as his fingers parted her and his tongue found her clit. She screamed out in ecstasy as he slid a finger into her. He slowly slid his long finger in and out of her as his tongue made circles around her clit. Her hands were knotted into the bed sheets at her side as her hips rose up into him. He pulled his finger out of her only to replace it with two fingers. Her head fell back and she began to pant, her hips following the same rhythm he was creating. His tongue was warm and wet against her and she could feel a tightening in her belly. He could feel her walls contracting against his fingers and he pulled his head away from her and looked up to her. He wanted to watch her cum and it was making him crazy.

"Come on baby, cum for me" his voice was gravely with desire

"Oh fuck" she yelled out as her body gave into the pleasure and she reached her climax hard.

Her hips bucked and her body tightened around his fingers as she shook with pleasure. The feel of her around his fingers almost through him over the edge as he thought of this feeling around his dick.

He smiled at her as she fell back against the bed, she was covered in a layer of sweat, her hair was a complete mess. She looked beautiful to him because he had been able to give this to her. And at that moment he had to have her. He quickly removed his boxers and threw them to the side with the rest of the clothing. He looked up to see she was watching him but her eyes quickly fell from his eyes to his erection. It was larger than she expected and she reached out with a finger and ran it along the underside. She seemed like she was in awe of it and that turned him on so much.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked her gently.

"More than anything" she purred to him.

He reached to the bedside table and grabbed the condom he had deposited there earlier. He tore it open with his teeth and proceeded to roll it onto his erection. He lowered himself down into between her legs. The tip of his erection pressed against her and he gently slide into her. Slowly as possible not wanting to cause her anymore pain than was necessary. He saw her flinch and noticed her body tense up beneath him.

"I can stop" he whispered kissing her ear.

"No, don't stop, I'm okay" she breathed out as he continued to slide slowing into her body until he was all the way in.

He remained still for a short while to let her adjust to him before he began to thrust slowly. As he moved her inside her the pain subsided and was replaced with pleasure and after a short while she was moving her hips in response to his. He speed picked up and be got a little more forceful as he reached his climax. Her legs were wrapped tightly around his waist and her fingers made trails down his glistening back. His lips were planted solidly on her neck as his body worked against hers.

"Finn" she purred into his ear "Cum for me".

And that did as he lost all control of himself and an animalistic groan escaped his lips as his climax hit him hard and fast. He felt her fingers in his hair as he road out his orgasm before collapsing onto her.

"Shit Rach" was all he could manage to squeek out of his dry lips.

She smiled at him, licking her own lips

"That was really good"

The sun was just peeking past the curtains when the soft beeping of the alarm on her cellphone woke her from her slumber. Rachel and Finn were tangled around each other in the king sized bed. She slipped gently from under his arm and rolled to the side of the bed. She turned around to look at him, he looked so cute. He was facedown with his arms out, his hair was a wreck and the sheet was covering his hips leaving his bare back to her prying eyes. She began to scurry around the room gathering the items of their clothing that were strewn around the room. She picked up his clothing and placed it on the small table in the corner, a little sad that he was going to have put it back on at all. She found her panties and bra and pulled them on. She walked to the mirror and looked at herself, she was a mess but she was glowing. She felt like the most beautiful women in the world and her wonderful boyfriend was the reason for that. She walked to the bed and shook his shoulder gently waking him up. Finn smiled up at her and stretched before sitting up. He pulled her to him for a hug wrapping his arms around her midsection and resting his head on her belly.

"I love you Rachel Berry" he said.

"I love you too Finn Husdon" she whispered back.

Tina was waiting for her in the lobby of the hotel, looking a little worse for wear herself. She smiled at Rachel and gave her a hug

"Good morning Rach"

"Better night" Rachel sighed.

Finn came up behind them wearing only his white tee and suit pants. His jacket, vest and tie were slung over his arm. He nodded in Artie's direction and smiled at Tina. He was glad to see the two of them end up together after all the up and down of their relationship. As they left the hotel lobby he grabbed Rachel's hand. They didn't need any words to convey their happiness. Tina drove Finn home first and he leaned over give Rachel a gentle kiss before he got out of the car.

"I will see you later"

"I can't wait" she smiled back at him.


	4. The Concrete Jungle

~August~

New York City, the concrete jungle where dreams were made of, or so she's been told. Rachel could not believe she was here. It was surreal! The lights, noise, buildings, everything was moving so fast around her and she was basking in it. She had always said she would come to NY, a place where opportunity and possibility lived free for her. But now here she was, a world away from Lima, Ohio and it was breathtaking and frightening all at once. The campus of New York University was bustling with people getting ready to start the fall semester and Rachel was finally one of those people. Next week she would officially be a Theater Major at a wonderful university, in one of the greatest cities on earth. And the best part of it all, was she had Finn with her to enjoy all the city had to offer. She never would have imagined that he would chose NYU as his final choice college as well and she suspected it had more to do with her than with academics but as Finn had said, you could become a teacher anywhere.

As Rachel looked up at the large dormitory sprawled before her though she felt a sense of dread. This was sort of like high school on a larger level and it involved roommates. She turned around to see her Dad's smiling behind her holding her bags. She hadn't brought much since they promised a little NYC shopping spree to start her college life out with.

"Well we shouldn't just stand here" she told herself more than them before finally moving from the spot she had been standing on.

Inside the dorm it was almost as loud as it had been on the street. Students, parents, siblings all bustled around getting moved in and ready for the semester. She made her way up a narrow staircase to the second floor and all the way to the end of a hallway that could use some updating and more light. There it was room 211, her home for the next year. She opened the door slowly and was sort of relived to see she had been first to arrive. She picked her bed and set down the bag she had been carrying and turned to her Dad's. They had tears in their eyes as they looked back at her

"No… you promised, no crying" she exclaimed.

"Sorry baby, your just all grown up now" her Papa said while wiping away a tear threatening to run down his cheek.

"No… I've only just started growing" she smiled at him "and I still need my Dad's."

It was then that the tears started rolling and her father's enveloped her in a large hug. Rachel stood there just enjoying the feeling of family. High school was over and with that everything about being a teenager. She was a young adult now, ready to face the world on her own for the first time. She knew the decisions she made now could effect the way future played out. Her father's broke the hug and stepped back from their daughter.

"Well we should head out, it's a long trip back to Ohio" her Dad said

Her Papa reached into his wallet and pulled out a stack of cash"This is for whatever you need and if you need anything else just call us".

Rachel wiped the tears from her eyes and smiled at them

"Thanks so much for everything, but mostly for always believing in me. Nurturing me and my dreams. You are the best parents a girl could have."

And before she knew it, they were gone and she was standing alone in the small room that would be her first place on her own.

Rachel was laying on her bed staring at the ceiling. She didn't really know what to do, she had been in the City for less than 24 hours and was defiantly overwhelmed. Shortly after her Dad's left she met her roommate Shae, who was a tall beautiful girl from a small upstate New York town. Rachel wasn't sure on how she felt about Shae but mostly it was about having to learn to share her space. She was an only child, she had never had to share anything at home before in her life. She had quickly learned that Shae liked to talk, she was a dance major who had attended a performing arts high school, she was the oldest child in a large family, liked to shop, was single and hoping to find her future husband while at NYU and planned to eventually join the New York Ballet company. It was all a little bit overwhelming for Rachel. Now she was just enjoying the relative silence in the room. Rachel heard the click of the door opening and braced herself for Shae's return but instead was greeted with the deep voice of her love.

"Baby?" he said

She sat up quickly and smiled in his direction

"I thought you were not going to be in the city til tomorrow"

"Surprise" he said wrapping her in a hug "Kurt wanted to get to LA sooner than planned. After seeing the state of my dorm room he was very worried about his own living situation."

"That really isn't a shock" she admitted

"Well that's Kurt for you" he said glancing around.

"How's the dorm situation" she stood throwing on a light weight hoodie.

"It's cool. My roommate seems like a nice dude" he picked up a framed picture of the two of them from graduation and smiled turning to her

"Come on" he said dragging her from the room

"Where are we going?"

"We are in NY, we can't just sit here, let's go see what the hype is all about"

Rachel was leaning up against the fence at the top of the Empire State Building.

"Is this not the most beautiful thing you have ever seen?" she shouted back in his direction

"I would say it's the second most beautiful" he joined her at the edge

"Awe Finn" she turned in his direction and smiled. "But really check out this view"

Lifting herself up on her toes she gave him a gentle kiss. She pulled back from him, the wind catching her hair. She crawled up the bar at the bottom of the fence to get a better view. Finn wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and nuzzled his face into her neck. He had to admit, hands down, that this was a nice feeling. He was on top of the world there was nobody else in the world he wanted to share this with, he was excited for their future.

"This is AMAZING" she shouted at the top of her lungs not caring who heard her.

Finn laughed at her enthusiasm. She was the only person he knew that could turn concrete and nails into the world's most beautiful landscape. The city was alive and brilliant and Rachel fit into this world beautifully. Below them the bustle of the city seemed a world away. He stepped back from her and she jumped down from her perch taking his hand.

"This is our new home, can you believe it, Lima, Ohio has nothing on this"

That night they walked the streets of Manhattan hand in hand for hours, taking in everything there was to see about NY. They rode in a cab which was a bit smelly for Rachel's taste. They shopped, ate a real New York pizza, took in Times Square. Rachel wanted to do it all; smell it, taste it, touch it and just breath in the city. This was the beginning of a brand new adventure.

~October~

By early fall they had fallen into the swing of college life. They attended classes, hung out with new friends and continued to take in all that city life had to offer. Dorm life had turned out to be a very interesting and exciting thing. There was no parents, no curfews, no rules, they could go where they wanted when they wanted and Rachel loved the freedom of that.

Rachel was sitting in her English class when she felt her cell phone vibrate in her pocket. She pulled it out under the table and looked at the message

_Tonight…8pm. Wear something nice! -_Finn

A smile crept onto her face. As she wondered what Finn had in store for them. Honestly Finn wasn't a big planner, he usually just went with the flow of things. That's just how he was, a laid back type of guy and that's what made them work so well together.

_Where R we going?_ she quickly typed back glancing up to make sure her professor wasn't watching. She should have known he wouldn't be, he was just droning on as usual standing behind an overhead projector. Beside her Shae was tapping her pen and foot in rhythm.

_Not getting it that easy. See u then-_ Finn

Beside her Shae leaned over and whispered in her direction

"Finn?"

"Yeah" she smiled largely. They hadn't been on a date since they left Ohio, or maybe they had been on 1 bit huge date since they arrived in NY. She wasn't really quite sure which.

"You are a lucky women. Finn is a great guy" Shae whispered back

"I know" Rachel beamed growing more excited by the minute. She looked at the clock, "it's gonna be a long day."

Rachel heard a light tap on her door that signaled his arrival. She could feel excitement bubbling up in her belly. She crossed the room and pulled open the door. Finn stood on the other side, he was dressed in a black suit, flowers in hand and big smile on his face. Rachel let her eyes rake over him and she couldn't help but notice how the pants hung off his hips so perfectly. Rachel couldn't help but remember the first time she saw him in a suit for a Glee performance. The way his tall frame held the suit so perfectly, she thought he was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. But the boy 16 year old Finn Hudson had been had nothing on the beautiful man he had become. Back in those early days she dreamed of just being lucky enough to go on a date with the handsome quarterback and now she relished in the idea of getting to spend her future with him.

"You look gorgeous" he said unable to take his eyes off her.

As soon as her classes had ended she had run uptown to find a dress for the occasion. Her final choice had been a soft lavender halter dress that stopped mid thigh. Her hair was loose and curly around her face giving her that natural beauty type of look.

"Thanks" she said taking the beautiful flowers from his hand and smelling them.

He leaned down to give her a soft kiss before taking her hand as they walked from the room.

"Where are we going?" Rachel pried as they walked waited for a taxi.

"You'll see" he smiled at her as the bright yellow vehicle pulled up to the curb.

And Finn had done well. First dinner at a small Italian restaurant with authentic Italian food, soft music and low lighting. They snuggled together on the same side of a booth tucked into a corner. Rachel was leaning into the crook of Finn's arm, his fingers rested softly on her shoulder. She had her feet tucked to the side of her on the booth. Finn poked a couple noodles onto his fork and slowly brought it to Rachel's lips. She opened her mouth slowly and took the warm pasta into her mouth chewing it slowly. Finn chuckled looking down at her

"You have a little" he began lowering his head to lick the sauce gently off her lip.

"Thanks"

She lifted a breadstick to his mouth and he bit a small piece off chewing it slowly. This had to be the most sensual dinner he had ever eaten. He didn't know what had come over them, maybe it was the fresh fall air, the smell of home inside the restaurant or the city itself. He felt her lean forward and take a sip of her soda before leaning back into his arms.

"This is nice" she said looking up at him.

He smiled that lopsided smile at her before putting the last scoop of pasta into his mouth. He held a breadstick out in front of her and she wrapped her lips suggestively around it. She lifted her eyes up to as she took the breadstick into her hand, she ran her tongue on the underside of it before puckering her lips on the tip in the form of a little kiss. Finn knew that if they kept this up they wouldn't make it on the rest of their date. He pulled the breadstick from her fingers and signaled the waiter that they were finished.

After dinner was the big surprise of the night, Finn was taking Rachel to her first Broadway show. She actually squealed with joy and did a little dance when they got out of the cab

"OMG Finn, Broadway" she jumped up and down.

He smiled at her just excited to make her that happy. She turned to him and jumped into his arms enveloping him in the biggest hug she could manage. The show was amazing, the talent through the roof. Rachel sat on the edge of her seat giddy with excitement during the entire show. And as the final curtain went down he wasn't sure if he had ever seen her cheer so long and so hard for anything in her life. Her eyes danced with excitement and a smile was permanently attached to her lips. At first all she could talk about was the show and Finn was just happy she was so happy. Then she turned to him on the cracked leather seats and planted her lips on his. Her lips were warm and moist against his. Her hands were all over him and he could feel himself growing hard when she turned and straddled him. His hands slipped around her waist and his tongue dipped into her mouth. Her dress was tented around her legs and Finn rand his hands up her thighs revealing her creamy naked skin. She moved her hips against his pelvis and he groaned softly into her mouth. He wanted nothing more than to push her dress up around her waist and take her right there on the backseat of the cab. She apparently had similar feelings because her hand had slipped in between them and fallen to his lap. This was so unlike Rachel Berry, the cab was filthy and the cab driver kept looking at them in his rearview. Which sort of turned Finn on a little more to be honest. He reached around and untied the halter letting the strings fall loose against her back. He dropped his head and took one hard nipple into his mouth and then the other. Rachel could feel herself growing wet as lips left a wet trail across her bare chest. His head dropped back against the headrest, her lips were on his neck, her small hands caressing him through his thin dress pants, his hands ran up and down her sides, her hips grinding against his.

"Oh my god Rach" he gasped pressing down on her hips to steady them.

"What?" she looked at him innocently.

"Just wait until we get back, I'm going to fucking ravish you" he whispered into her ear, running his tongue around the rim.

"I hope that's a promise" she purred back.


	5. Giving Thanks

Chapter 5

~November~

Finn was sitting behind the drum set in the large rehearsal room. He was pounding out the beat to Jesse's Girl from memory as he waited for Rachel to meet him. Ever since he had told Rachel how he really felt by performing the song in Glee it was one of his favorite songs. It was a week before Thanksgiving and classes were winding down for the holiday. The Hudson/Hummel and Berry families had decided it would be nice to celebrate Thanksgiving in the City instead of the kids flying home to Ohio. Kurt was flying from the west coast and the parents had booked suites at The W Hotel in Times Square. Finn was really excited for their first joint Thanksgiving and his mom's cooking. He had been feeling a bit nostalgic for home lately and this family time was just what he needed.  
Finn had agreed to meet Rachel on campus after her last class but she had texted him that she was tied up with Professor Jayde and would meet him shortly in the rehearsal room. Finn felt so free just playing the drums and was starting realize how much he missed being in Glee. Other than a couple of stints singing karaoke he hadn't really gotten to do much of what he loved about high school. NYU didn't have a football team and with his class schedule he really wasn't able to find a creative outlet for his talents. Finn had no regrets about his decision to follow Rachel to NY but it was tough to give up that full scholarship to the University of Alabama, the Crimson Tide were one of the strongest teams in college football. But Finn knew what he wanted from his future and Rachel was more important than football could ever be. But lately he had been feeling more twinges of regret for blowing off his football scholarship and it was scaring him a little. He didn't even know where these thoughts were coming from. Everything had been going so good for the two of them then one day he started feeling like he was chasing a dream that wasn't his. Little thoughts would slip into his head, he hadn't thrown a football in months and he couldn't remember when he's played the drums. All he needed to do was look at Rachel and they would go away but still the fact that they were there at all bothered him.  
"Nice beat"  
Finn looked up to see a guy he knew from a couple of his classes standing in the doorway.  
"Thanks" Finn said putting the drumsticks back on the kit and standing up "David right?"  
"Yeah man" David said holding out a hand to Finn.  
"Finn Hudson" he said taking his hand.  
"We have LIT200 and MAT096 together right?"  
"Yeah, the two most exciting classes ever" Finn said sarcastically  
David laughed in agreement "So you play a lot" he motioned to the drum kit.  
"Not anymore. I played a bit in high school"  
"That's a shame, your good" David said picking up the guitar leaning on it's rest.  
"Thanks man"  
David strummed out the first few notes to Free Bird and raised an eyebrow at Finn.  
"Is that your way of asking me if I know Free Bird?" Finn asked picking up the drumsticks and sitting back down at the drum kit.  
Finn was so engrossed in the music that he didn't even notice Rachel leaning against the door frame until he and David had finished their jam session. She began to clap loudly and Finn looked up and smiled at her quickly crossing the expanse of the room and wrapping her in a huge hug.  
"Did you have a good day" he asked her giving her a quick kiss  
"Yeah but It's better now" she purred to him.  
Finn released her from the hug and turned to David  
"David Christian, this is my girlfriend Rachel Berry"  
Rachel crossed the room and shook his hand "Nice to meet you. You guys sounded good"  
"I'm happy to hear that" David said "Because I just found our new drummer"  
"What?" Finn asked in shock  
"Well a couple guys and I have a cover band, we play the college bar circuit. We need a new drummer"  
"No shit" Finn said excited  
"Is that a yes?" David asked  
"That is a Hell Yes" Finn smiled largely  
After exchanging numbers Dave left the room and Rachel turned to Finn who was beaming. She squealed out a congrats and wrapped him in the biggest hug she could. This was just what her Finn needed! She had felt he's been a big down lately what with being football season and all.

Rachel was awoken by a pounding on the door and she looked over at the clock beside Finn's bed. They were naked and tangled in his sheets on the small bed. It was Sunday morning and campus was mostly empty since most kids had went home for the holiday including Finn's roommate. Rachel smiled remembering the night they had shared together. No matter how often they had sex it never got old or boring, she loved being intimate with Finn and the night before Finn had his drumming debut and he had totally rocked the house. The band was really good and she was shocked at how big a following they had on campus. Finn was so in his element and it was so sexy.  
Rachel jumped out of the cab pulling Finn with her. It was almost 4 AM but she didn't' feel tired at all. Her adrenaline was racing from the show and she could not wait to get her hands all over him. And she could tell he felt the same way because he kept grabbing at her and pulling her to him as she tried to pull him in earnest to his room. By the time got off the elevator on his floor their hands and lips were all over each other. Finn quickly unlocked his dorm room and they banged into the room, slamming the door against the wall behind it. Their lips were pushed against each other, their tongues fighting an unwinnable war, her arms were twisted around his neck and his hands were all over her. His hands gripped the hem of her skirt pushing it up around her waist as he lifted her from the ground and spun her around so she was sitting on the edge of his desk. She tugged on his belt buckle wanting to free him from the confine of his jeans. His mouth was all over her neck and chest as his hand went down her abdomen. He hooked his thumbs in her panties and quickly pulled them from her body. He fell to his knees, spreading her legs. He could feel her heat as he dipped his tongue into her folds, running it against her clit. She screamed out in pleasure and gripped at the side of the desk. His tongue went to work on her clit as he slid a finger, then two in and out of her warm, wet body. And then he had to have her, this was not a foreplay type of night. He freed himself from his jeans, flipped her over and entered her from behind. Her arms went out knocking stuff from his desk all over the floor. She cried out in pleasure as he laid kisses on her back and shoulders. They had never had sex like this before, it was hungry and dirty and she was loving it. Finn pounded into her with no mercy until she cried out in a fit of pleasure, his own climax quickly following. He collapsed on her back breathing heavily "Fuck Rach, you make me crazy".

She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and stretched as the knocking continued. She nudged Finn to awaken him from his slumber cursing whoever was at the door.  
"Finn" she heard his mother from the other side of the door and Rachel froze in place. On the bedside table Finn's phone began buzzing and he reached for his lazily.  
"It's my mom" he said yawning.  
"Yeah I know, she's at the door" Rachel said in a panic looking around the room for her panties.  
"What?" Finn sat bolt upright "They are not due in until tonight"  
He was sure that his parents knew that they were having sex but his mom would freak out if she found Rachel here, naked in his bed.  
The thought of Rachel, naked in his bed made his mind drift off. She drove him crazy and he loved it. Their sexual chemistry was was out of this world.  
"Finn" his mom banged louder "wake up, open the door"  
Rachel was now dressed messily in a pair of Finn's shorts and her tee shirt. She was pawing at her hair as she bent over the mirror. Finn couldn't help think how hot she looked in his clothing.  
"Finn" Rachel hissed  
Finn got up from the bed, pulled on shorts and shrugged at her  
"Now what" he whispered  
"Well you have to let her in" Rachel whispered back.  
"I know that but if she finds you here she's going to kill us" Finn whispered back.  
Rachel nodded her head to the door and raised her eyebrows. Finn walked to the door and pulled it open a little.  
"Mom" he faked surprise  
"Late night?" she asked smiling. Burt was leaning against the wall behind he and smiled at his step-son.  
"Yeah" he said scratching his head "I'm actually playing drums in a band some of us guys put together. We rocked the house til like 3AM"  
"Oh that's great Finn" his mom said reaching up to give him a kiss on his cheek "are you going to let us in?"  
Finn reluctantly moved aside as Rachel dove into his bathroom, quietly clicking the door shut. As Burt and Carole followed him into the room Finn began pushing clothing aside with his foot, including Rachel's bra and skirt, throwing a blanket down on top of them.  
"So how are your classes?" Burt said sitting on the chair at Finn's desk.  
"Oh they are going good" Finn said sitting on his bed next to his Mom.  
"I still can't believe my baby boy is all grown up, in college, living in the big city" she gushed hugging her son.  
Finn sent his mom his crooked smile and hugged her back. They chatted a bit longer before Burt rose to his feet  
"Well we should get over to the Hotel and get checked in and everything" he said walking to the door. Finn said his goodbyes and his mom went to call the elevator but as Burt turned to leave he turned back to Finn.  
"Tell Rachel I said Hi when she comes out of the bathroom".  
"What" Finn asked in shock  
"I was your age once Finn, I know what it's like to love someone as much as Rachel"  
"How did you know she was here?"  
"Her purse was on your desk" he laughed.  
"Please don't tell my mom" Finn gasped.  
"Your secret is safe with me, but please make sure your making good choices. Your future and hers is to bright to mess it all up now" he patted him on the shoulder before turning to leave.  
Thanksgiving day dawned bright and early in the city. It was a cold, crisp morning in New York but there was not a cloud in the sky and the city was eerily quiet. Rachel and Finn had decided they wanted to walk to times square despite the bite in the air and the distance to the hotel. They walked arm and arm through the city, around them the early signs of Christmas had began to show up. Rachel was so excited for Christmas in the city, the way the city would look bathed in lights especially when the snow began to fall. They conversed the easy way that only they were able to do and the walk passed quickly. Before they knew it they stood at the front door of the W Hotel. The past few days had been so much fun for the couple. After the embarrassing wake up call from Finn's mom everything else had gone smoothly. Rachel and Finn had taken Burt and Carole to one of their favorite restaurants and they discussed life in New York and back in Ohio over dinner. Burt and Carole told them that the Glee Club at won Sectionals again and Mr. Shue sends his love. It was a lovely night and after dinner they walked around Times Square. The next day Kurt flew in from California and after dinner at the hotel with the parents Rachel and Finn took Kurt out to see "their" New York. They had a great time talking about LA and New York. After desert at a small diner with amazing pie they decided to do some old Glee Club Karaoke at a little college bar near campus. The three of them just enjoyed each other's company and even got a little more than drunk as they brought the house down at the bar. They were such a hit that people began making requests of them. It felt so great to just let loose, sing and have a good time. Being with Kurt reminded them of being at home, their high school days had been an amazing journey. When they finally called it a night they grabbed a cab back downtown with Kurt and dropped him at the hotel. Wednesday Rachel's Dad's drove in from Ohio and took everyone to dinner and a Broadway show. After that is was back to the hotel where Finn's mom and Rachel's dad's began prepping for the big dinner the next day.  
Finn swiped the card to the room and let them in. Inside the large suite he could hear the soft hum of voices having multiple conversations.  
"What are we talking about?" Rachel asked walking up to her Papa and Kurt.  
"The big snowstorm we are supposed to be getting" Kurt said "I've been living in LA, figures NY would schedule a blizzard when I come to town"  
"Yes, we did it especially for you" Rachel laughed at him.  
"You look nice Rach" Kurt commented, which was a big compliment from him.  
"Thanks" Rachel smiled at him "So where are these appetizers Finn has been talking about all morning?"  
"Kitchen" her Papa nodded in the direction. Rachel kissed him on the cheek and skipped off in the direction he had nodded.  
Meanwhile Finn had settled on the couch next to Burt, a football game was on the big screen. They watched in silence for a while concentrating on the game. Occasionally you would hear a yell or a swear word slip from their direction as a team did or didn't do something.  
"You miss it don't you" Burt finally said during half time  
"No, well, I mean a little I guess" Finn said staring at the TV.  
He really didn't want to talk about this. NY had been the plan for them for so long that he didn't even tell his Mom and Carole about the offer from UA to play football and when he got into NYU he didn't even think twice about the Crimson Tide. But lately he had been thinking about it, a lot.  
"It's okay to miss it Finn" Burt said.  
"Don't get me wrong. I love New York and Rachel, but I guess, I feel a little lost here sometimes"  
"How so?"  
"Rachel knows exactly what she wants out life but sometimes I don't even know what I want out of the day. I just worry that at some point…" he let the sentence fall off.  
"I know about University of Alabama" Burt said quietly looking at his step son.  
Finn just looked at him. Burt reached out and put a hand on his arm  
"I know you love her son, but don't loose yourself. She loves you for who you are and sometimes that means making hard choices to better yourself. If you want to play college football, then you need to talk to her. There are a lot of great schools you can attend that are still close to New York, and your girl!"  
"Thanks Burt" Finn smiled crookedly, just hearing that these feelings are normal made him feel better.

As dinner began they all took turns going around the table to give thanks for the important things in life.  
"I'd like to give thanks for my wonderful Dad's, NYU's theater department and the love of a man" Rachel beamed  
Finn thought for a moment before speaking  
"I'm thankful for New York"


	6. Rocky

Christmas in Ohio was exactly what Rachel thought she and Finn needed to bolster their sagging relationship. Outwardly, there was nothing in particular wrong with their relationship but Rachel could feel Finn pulling away from her. She couldn't pinpoint exactly what was causing those feelings though and every time she tried to bring it up Finn insisted that everything was fine. But Rachel knew better than that. She had been with Finn long enough to be able to read his emotions and see him for who he really was. The idea of a life without Finn in it scared Rachel more than anything so she had made it her personal goal to get back on track. Ohio had been wonderful and by the time they left Rachel felt as though they had reconnected. For Rachel being home had made her realize what a world away she lived in, the opportunities she had now that she never would have been able to realize in Lima, Ohio. But for Finn, unbeknownst to Rachel, going home had given him something else. He realized now that no matter how far in life he went, what places he traveled to and things he saw, he could always go home. That Lima, Ohio would always be there waiting for him and he could come home to the same house, on the same street that he had spend the majority of his life thus far. That feeling of home, the idea of not being alone in the world, of having a place that you truly came from was important to Finn and he was being to realize that Lima wasn't such a bad place after all. And being home made Finn realize how much of Ohio he really carried around with him. He could pretend to be a bad ass New Yorker all he wanted but deep down he was a Mid Western boy who had football in his veins and music in his heart.

The month they had been home had been filled with friends and family. The night they touched down in Lima it was as if no time at all had passed. It was like high school again without the classes. They were back on those familiar streets with those familiar people that had be the existence of their lives thus far. Everyone from Glee was home for the holidays and they spent as much of their time together, recounting stories and tales from their various locations. Everyone was so interested in what New York was like and what adventures Rachel and Finn had gotten into. Rachel loved to talk about the city she now called home so she got a distinct joy in telling everyone about the City. Finn, however, could care less about talking about New York and he spent most of his time talking football with Puck who was playing for Ohio State. Finn wouldn't admit it to anyone but he was sort of jealous of his friend. Ohio State was ranked 2 in the nation behind only U of Alabama. Being home was easy for the couple; they had dates in their usual haunts, dinner with their families and slept in their own beds in the rooms they had lived in since they were kids. Rachel particularly enjoyed having to sneak out to be with Finn, it had been so easy for them to be together in New York. The time at home flew for the couple and before either of them knew it they were back in the city getting geared up for the spring semester.

But things were not as perfect as Rachel had envisioned they would be when they got back to New York. It took less than a month for their relationship to start to feel rocky again. They would argue about nothing in particular which always ended in one or the other storming off only to come back later to offer forgiveness in the form of make up sex. While the sex was always passionate, raw and emotional it never resolved the issues that were coming up. So they fell into a pattern of argue, make up and repeat. In mid February Rachel got a role in an off-off-Broadway play that was in New Jersey and that meant even less time together than they had before with their full school loads and Finn playing in the band. As rehearsals and shows began for the play Finn often found himself alone waiting for Rachel to return from Jersey. This only perpetuated the cycle because Finn found that when he was alone with his thoughts he didn't really enjoy what they told him. By the end of March their relationship was a mess that neither of them wanted to deal with. Rachel couldn't admit that things just were not perfect between them and Finn didn't know what he was feeling. He loved Rachel, there was no doubt about it, but he wasn't happy. He needed more of Finn in his life, he felt as though he was officially living in Rachel's dream. Alone on the sidelines waiting for his star to shine his way. When he had pictured their lives together in New York he had imagined something different, that they would be a joint front like they had been in high school. But high school was over and this wasn't Lima, Ohio. They were not Finn and Rachel, co-captains of Glee Club, with the epic love story. They were two nobodies trying to hack it in the big city. Everywhere they looked there was someone else who did what they did, better than they did it. They were 18 years old, Finn was still trying to figure out who he was, which caused him to butt heads with Rachel who had always known exactly who she was.

Finn picked up his phone and hit Rachel's number. He knew that she was prob in class but he preferred that, leaving a message was often easier. When the sing song voice of her voicemail met his ear he smiled in relief. He just wanted to tell her what he wanted to say and not have a discussion about the state of their lives. It wasn't that he didn't want to be honest with Rachel but he was afraid that if he didn't play this right he would loose her completely. He just wanted to figure out why his heart and his mind were not in agreement lately. He wanted to fix this but he had to figure out what exactly could be done to make both of them happy. Rachel was a star, he believed that completely about his girl, but he wasn't sure she could be a star and be his girl at the same time. He would never deny her her dreams. The last thing he wanted in life was Rachel with regrets.

"_Hey it's me. Just wanted to remind you of the big show tonight at Radio City. I think we have a good chance of winning this thing. Love you"_

He clicked his phone off and shoved it in his pocket as he grabbed his coat to leave. He was meeting the guys at their rehearsal spot, the back room of one of the bars they frequented to go over their tunes one last time. Tonight was the Big Apple Rock Competition, a showcase of local "homegrown" bands. This was a big deal because the reward was a large amount of money and 6 months of radio play on New York radio stations. Plus it would draw a lot of attention from the news media in the city. Finn doubted they would win their year in the competition but placing well would mean good things for them. More attention and the opportunity of more shows. As Finn walked the streets of New York to his destination he couldn't help but notice how cold it still was in New York. He hated this weather.

Rachel finished removing her stage make up from the early show and looked at her watch. Montclair was a 45 minute drive from the city. Finn's band went on at 10pm which gave her just over 2 hours to get out of here, back into the city and to Radio City. She quickly jammed her stuff into her bag and headed out to get to the train station. On her way out the door she was stopped by the sound of her name behind her

"Rachel" Natalie called out

"Yeah"

"I'll give you a ride back to the city. Come have a drink with us"

"Thanks Nat but I really gotta get back to see Finn's show. Plus, I'm not old enough to drink" she reminded her older cast mate.

"One drink Rach, a virgin for you, and I will drop you off at Finn's show in plenty of time" she pleaded.

Rachel sighed, the cast had been trying to get her to join them for a month now, and a ride into the city seemed much better than the dirty old bus. Plus she had plenty of time to get to Radio City.

"I have to be there before 10" she insisted.

"Of course" Nat smiled at her.

Rachel laughed loudly and stumbled a little. The group was at Velvet, a popular night club that was big with the younger theatrical crowd. It was dark, loud and hot inside the club but all Rachel was feeling was her buzz. One drink and one shot of Tequila later Rachel was pretty wasted. She didn't drink much and when she did it was never anything to hard. Rachel felt completely uninhibited and it felt great. She pulled Natalie towards the dance floor where she spun around and sang loudly. She was having an amazing time and when one of her theater girls offered her another drink she took it without another thought to it. Rachel had just headed back to their table when she heard her name

"OMG if it isn't Miss Rachel Berry"

Rachel placed her phone on the table and spun around. Her mouth fell open and her eyes grew wide. There before her was none other than Jesse St. James. It had been since high school since she had even thought about him. She had heard mention that he was in New York, a small role in a Broadway play.

"Jesse" she exclaimed stumbling over her own feet a little.

He went in for a hug and she backed up a little sticking her hand out for a shake instead. He took it and smiled at her.

"I heard you were in New York. NYU?""Yeah" she slurred a little "I'm a theater major"

"Well you always did have star potential. He you wanna get outta here so we can talk better?" he asked

Rachel nodded and followed him outside to the street. When the cold air hit her she stumbled back a little. She was really unsteady she realized, in fact everything thing was becoming a blur.

"Come back to my place" he said pulling her arm

"Are you kidding?" she yelled "After how you treated me in high school. The deceit and the eggs?"

"That was years ago Rach. I'm not a kid being influenced by my friends anymore. I'm so sorry about that. I just want to talk, catch up."

"So you think you can just apologize for my first heartbreak and be forgiven. Nice try Jesse" she felt like her head was spinning.

"Come one Rach. I'm not asking for anything"

"I can't" she said strongly.

"Why?"

"Because Finn would kill me" _Finn OMG THE SHOW. _Her mind raced she gripped her wrist trying to steady her watch. It was 11:15. _Oh no, no, no, no. This isn't happening. How did this happen, how did I loose track of time. Oh Finn, he's gonna be so mad. I have to find him._

"Finn Hudson" Jesse scoffed "your joking right?"

"Don't you talk about him" Rachel yelled "Don't you even say his name."

"What are you like High School Sweethearts?" Jesse laughed

"Shut up Jesse. Finn put me back together when you broke me. He loves me and I love him. How dare you even question him"

"Oh come one Rach. He's a Lima Loser, you can take the boy out of the Midwest but you can't take the Midwest out of the boy. Your destined to be a star, you deserve a star lover!" he gripped her arm.

"You know nothing about him. He's a smart, talented amazing man. He was more of a man at 16 than you will ever be"

"Finn Hudson" Jesse just repeated, shaking his head and laughing lightly.

"FUCK YOU Jesse" she yelled. She didn't have time for this. She had to find Finn, she had to make this right. She started to walk away when Jesse grabbed her arm and planted his lips strongly on hers. It took all of her strength to push him away

"GET OFF ME. DON'T YOU TOUCH ME. YOU DON'T GET TO TOUCH ME. EVER"

Jesse just laughed at her as she hailed a cab

"When you over Lima, come find me"

Finn dialed Rachel's number for what felt like the 100th time. Her phone went to voicemail once again. He was done with leaving messages, he was pissed. She had blown off his show. How could she, after she knew how much this meant to him. How could she do this to them?


	7. Aftermath

As Rachel got off the elevator on her floor she could already see his form sitting on the floor in front of her room. Any bit of a buzz she had had was gone now and instead had a distinct feeling of fear in the pit of her stomach. She took a deep breath and then approached him

"Hey" she said softly

"What the HELL Rachel" he said rising to his feet

"I'm so sorry Finn" she said

He didn't say anything but just stared at her with those beautiful brown eyes, but they were different. There was hurt in his eyes.

"I can explain" she said moving closer to him.

She tried to look up to read his emotions but he wouldn't look at her. He eyes stared off into the distance and she was sure she had never seen him this mad at her before. The thought of him being angry at her brought tears to her eyes. This had been the worst night of her life.

"I sure as hell hope so" he mumbled.

"I lost track of time Finn. I know that's not an excuse but.."

"No it's not an excuse" he said finally looking at her.

"I had every intention of going to your show, I know what it meant to you. Natalie offered to give me a ride to the city if I would come have 1 drink with them. Next thing I knew it was 11:30"

"So you missed my show so you could get drunk with your theater girls?"

"It wasn't like that Finn…"

"So what was it like Rachel. You couldn't call, you couldn't even let me know you were okay. I called you like 30 times Rachel, you couldn't even answer your phone. That's a little shady"

"I don't know where my phone is" she said sheepishly

Finn shook his head. He couldn't do this with her here in this hallway in the middle of the night. Her story seemed to be just that, a story.

"I need air" he said turning to walk away from her.

"Finn, please, I love you, please tell me we are all right" she pleaded to his back.

"I can't Rachel" he said looking at her "because I don't know that we are."

She watched his back as his form receded down the hallway as tears streamed down her cheeks.

Finn walked to his favorite spot on campus. He loved sitting in the quad when it was empty and quiet and he was able to just watch the world around him. Above him snow started to fall lightly dissolving on impact with the ground. He sat on a bench and pulled his coat tighter around him, it was colder than hell but Finn could barely feel it. His mind was racing and his heart was aching, he almost felt like vomiting. He didn't know exactly what had happened tonight but he felt that Rachel's story didn't add up all the way. There was something missing and he didn't know what it was. This was his Rachel after all but why then did she not feel like his Rachel. Even that didn't make sense. He leaned forward on the bench rubbing his temples, he had a headache, his hands were freezing. He cursed the fact that he had left his gloves in his dorm room. So much for being prepared for the elements and all that. Finn sat up a little and watched a snowflake dissolve on his knee.

"Hey" Finn heard a familiar voice against the quiet night air.

Finn looked up to see his roommate Dave standing in front of him. He was bundled up against the elements and Finn once again thought of his missing gloves.

"Hey"

"Saw Rach at Velvet earlier, she forgot her phone" Dave said reaching into the large pocket of his coat and pulling out the bedazzled pink object.

Dave had Finns attention now and he brushed the light dusting of snow from the bench and motioned for Dave to sit.

"Tell me what you saw" Finn said realizing he sounded like a crazy person.

"What do you mean?" Dave asked staring at Finn with questioning eyes.

"Like what was going on?" Finn signed, now he just sounded jealous.

"I didn't really talk to her I just noticed she had left her phone on the table but she and the guy she was chatting with were gone when I went to return it" he shrugged.

"What guy?" Finn questioned looking

"You know, one of those theater guys these chicks always hang out with. Jesse something, he's been around the scene for a while" Dave said.

"Jesse St. James" Finn hissed with anger

"Yeah that's it" Dave said standing up "I'm freezing my balls off out here man."

He held the phone out in Finns direction. Finn looked up at him

"Do you think you could drop it off to her. I'm sure she's going crazy without it and I don't know when I'll be heading over there"

"Sure" Dave said, he could tell something was going on with the couple.

"Oh and Dave, can you give her a message for me?"

Dave nodded as Finn spoke to him and before he turned to leave he slipped his gloves off and handed them to Finn

"Here, your no good as a drummer if your missing fingers"

Rachel heard the knock on the door and pulled it open in anticipation expecting Finn at the door. Instead she found Dave holding her phone in her direction.

"Thanks" she said to him.

Dave couldn't help but notice that she was a mess. She was wearing a pair of pink sweatpants and Finn's huge NYU hoodie that fell almost to her knees. Her hair was pulled back hastily in a messy bun on the back of her head. She looked exhausted but then again it was almost 2 in the morning now.

"No prob" Dave started to turn away then remembered "Oh hey, Finn told me to tell you to say Hi to Jesse for him"

"What" Rachel squeaked out but Dave was already retreating down the hallway.

Rachel shut the door slowly and felt as if she were going to be sick. She grabbed her garbage can and threw up. Tears were streaming down her face. This was bad, really, really bad. She should have just told him about Jesse but she had figured it was a moot point. She had dealt with the Jesse issue and had no intention of ever talking to him again. She was completely dedicated to Finn, she knew that now more than ever. She grabbed her cell phone and hit his number. Voicemail, of course what did she expect to would happen. She quickly began digging around for her boots, finding them and pulling them on with haste as she grabbed her coat. She knew exactly were to find Finn.

She had hurried across campus as quickly as she could in the increasingly heavy snow. It was freezing and her lungs burnt with the cold air that assaulted them. The snow clung to her hair and eyelashes and her sweatpants were absorbing water with each step. When she reached the edge of the quad she could see his form on the bench. He was balling up little bits of snow and throwing them out in front of him. Beneath her she felt her speed increase as she began running.

"Finn" she called out

He looked up in her direction but didn't move. He looked beautiful in the light of the moon. His hair was covered by the freshly fallen snow and a few flakes stuck to his long eye lashes.

"We need to talk" she said approaching him.

She sat oddly on the bench beside him. He didn't make an effort to clear a spot for her to sit and she could feel the snow soaking through her pants. She nudged him with her shoulder but he wouldn't look at her, his eyes stayed trained on his feet.

"Finn?" she questioned.

"You lied to me Rachel" Finn said and she could feel the devastation in his voice.

"I'm sorry Finn. Truly I am" she said. She knew how much it bothers him when he's lied to. This all stemming back to the baby scandal that had rocked his life all those years ago.

"What the hell happened tonight Rachel?" he asked. "How could you lie to me?"

"I messed up" she said quietly

"How am I supposed to trust you?"

"It was a lack of judgment Finn."

"Which part? Meeting up with another man or lying about it?"

"This isn't what it looks like" she told him

"Really, then what is it Rachel? Because I'm tired of mind games"

"Look I went out with the girls, my intention was to have 1 drink and then meet up with you, well honestly I couldn't handle it. I just got caught up in the moment, I don't even know how I lost track of time. It just felt good to let loose" she said

"and Jesse?" Finn asked, hate laced his normally calm voice.

"He came up to me at the club, said he wanted to talk so I went outside with him. He tried to get me to come home with him but I told him I couldn't, I had you. When I resisted him he grabbed me and kissed me. I freaked out, pushed him away and then hailed a cab and left."

"And that was it?" he asked her finally looking at him.

"Yes"

"You didn't sleep with him?"

"Are you kidding me Finn?" Rachel was hurt he would even ask.

"No Rachel, I'm not kidding. Did you sleep with him?"

"God Finn, NO. I did never, would never sleep with him or any other man other than you. How could you even doubt me in this way?" Rachel felt tears forming in her eyes.

"How can I be sure I can trust you"

"Finn, it's me, Rachel. You KNOW me" she pleaded.

"I feel like I don't even know you anymore Rachel. Your still the beautiful women I fell in love with on the outside but who have you become on the inside? Your dreams are bigger than us, so yeah maybe it's conceivable that somebody who shares those exact dreams of stardom would be more appealing to you than me."

"Finn you are the only man in my life" she whispered to him putting her hand on his shoulder.

They were silent for a bit. Rachel was afraid to speak, afraid to breath really until he spoke again. She squeezed her eyes shut whispering a silent prayer that the next words out of his mouth would be that he still loved her too.

"I'm not happy" Finn finally said what he had been feeling since November.

"This isn't just about tonight is it?" she admitted.

He simply shook his head.

"Well let's fix this" Rachel pleaded, her tears were now streaming down her cheeks leaving cold lines against her skin.

"I love you Rachel, but we have different dreams right now. You know who you are and what you want out of life. I've always admired that about you. So I made sacrifices to make sure you were able to achieve the best opportunity to achieve those dreams. You deserve those dreams you've worked so hard for. But in doing so I lost my ability to figure out who I am. And that was okay, because I had you, and that was all I needed. But now I don't even have you, not fully. You have always been the most important thing in my life, but I've only been the second most important in yours."

"Finn that is not true. You are so important to me" she started but he cut her off.

"But being a star, that is what is truly important"

"You say it like it's a bad thing. To want something out of my life. To be more than the girl from Lima, Ohio who peaked in her high school Glee Club."

"Rachel, I'm sorry" he stood "I really am."

She stood and grabbed his arm forcefully

"Don't do this to us Finn. Not after everything we've gone through, all we've had to fight for. Please Finn, Please forgive me. I will change I swear"

"I don't want you to change Rachel. We can't just keep swapping each other's dreams"

"Finn, we can fix this. Please. Please let us try"

Finn looked down at her with tears in his own eyes

"You're New York City and I'm Lima, Ohio. A world away from one another. I hope you do amazing things with your life Rachel, you have the talent and drive to be a true star. So make me one promise, do it, become a star! And never look back" he whispered to her before turning on his heel.

"Finn…."

She yelled as he walked quickly away.

"Finn, please… I love you….. Finn"

But only his footsteps remained as Rachel fell to her knees in the newly fallen snow. Her heart ached a pain like nothing she had ever felt before. And then she sobbed, her body shaking, until she had nothing left to cry.

Finn felt like he couldn't breathe as he struggled to hold back tears. He had just broken up with Rachel. His Rachel Berry was no longer his, she was the city's, the worlds, but not his. He reached for the envelope that had been sitting unopened on his dresser for weeks. He tore it open and stared at the words

_**Dear Mr. Hudson**_

_**Welcome to Penn State! My name is Coach Paterno and I would like to welcome you personally to our football program. I've seen you play and understand you turned down a full scholarship to the University of Alabama. It is an honor that you are now considering us as your educational choice and I really hope you will be joining us on the gridiron this fall.**_


	8. 30 Days

Chapter 8

It had been a months since he had left her life.

1 Month

30 Days

720 Hours

30 Sunrises and Sunsets

30 Sleepless Nights

And yet the world went on around her. Day turned into night and back into day and still her heart ached.

_-Day 1-_

_The world outside her window that cold Sunday morning was fresh and new. The snow that had fallen heavily all night had tapered to light flurried. The sun reflected off the snow creating a glittering shine to the concrete landscape. But inside the small room that had been her home for the last 8 months nothing felt beautiful. Her world had fallen apart with the freshly fallen snow. Her heart was broken into a million pieces, she felt as though she were suffocating in her own misery. She waited at every moment to wake up from the awful nightmare. But as the minutes passed her reality became concrete. Finn was gone and she was alone in the world. In a matter of minutes her world had shattered around her. Tears began to flow freely at just the thought of him. The way his lips would curl into a half smile when he was amused by something, the way his eyes sparkled when he was excited about something, the soft tenor of his voice when he sang in the shower. And she was lost because every vision she had of her future, since she was 16 years old, ended with her, ended with Mrs. Rachel Hudson._

_So she laid there. Covers pulled up to her neck and stared at a spot on the wall. Because there was nothing else for her to do. Memories of the past 3 years ran like a movie through her mind in the silent room. She was amazed at how vividly she remembered everything. All the songs they had sung, the dates they went on, the passionate nights they spent in each other's arms. And she cried because there was nothing else she wanted to do._

_-Day 5-_

_Rachel heard the soft banging on the door. She had no intention of getting out of her bed to answer it. For 5 days she had laid here, getting up only to use the bathroom when it was absolutely necessary. After the second day Shae had given up on trying to get her to talk about it. By the fourth day her roommate didn't' even bother coming home. And Rachel preferred it that way, because alone was how she felt, deep down inside. And yet the knocking continued. Soon followed by a familiar voice._

"_Rachel open the door we know your in there" Mercedes yelled through the wooden barrier._

_Great! Rachel thought, now she was hallucinating. But the knocking continued and Rachel quickly realized that it was a hallucination. Her friend was actually on the outside of the door. So she rose to her feet and shuffled over to the door to pull it open. Her sad eyes met the faces of Mercedes, Quinn and Tina._

"_What are you guys doing here?" she gasped._

_The girls stared at the awful state she was in. She was still wearing the pink sweatpants and a white tank top. Her hair had not been brushed in days, her eyes were red rimmed._

"_Shae called me" Mercedes told her_

"_But how…." Rachel squeaked realizing that this was the first time in almost a week she had said more than 2 words to anyone._

"_She found my number in your phone book, recognized my name from conversations you had had and called. She said it was an emergency"_

"_Have you showered" Tina asked as the girls followed her into the room and Rachel realized she hadn't._

"_No" Rachel said sitting back on the bed "Who cares?"_

"_Tell us what happened" Quinn said softly._

_And so she did. Tears ran down her cheeks as she choked out the details of their break up and her heart broke all over again. The girls listened intently and she could see it in their eyes… sorrow. When she finished all they could do was hug her, because despite their differences over the years everyone know just how strong a bond she and Finn had. And it scared them all deep down as well, because if Finn and Rachel couldn't make it how could anyone else?_

"_Have you seen him" she asked after minutes of silence had passed by._

_And they all shared a knowing look_

"_No but the boys are down here, they are with him now" Quinn finally answered._

_And there was nothing else for Rachel to say. Because she knew that when they left her, when they got back together to head back to Ohio, they would all see him as well. _

_The girls tried to get her mind off everything for the weekend. After forcing her into a shower they made her show then her New York. So she walked the lonely streets and took them to all the places she had shared with Finn. Despite the fact that she was in the company of her great friends, she felt alone, and every place they went held memories of Finn and what she had lost. _

_-Day 7-_

_Rachel woke with a start. She had slept, the whole night, and her pillow was dry. She felt rested as she stared at the clock. 8:15, she still had time to get to her 9 AM class. And she was okay with going. But as she was getting dressed a thought scared her. Did this mean she was getting over him. No, she was just moving on. Because she couldn't spend her life in this bed, in this dorm room. So she went to class because it was what normal college students did. Even heartbroken ones. _

1 Month

30 Days

720 Hours

30 Mornings of tear soaked pillows

30 Nightmares that became reality with the harsh light of the morning sun

He was gone, her Finn, the one person who had always believed in her. And yet the world went on.

Her heart broke because for the first time in her life she realized that there was so much more to life than being a star. And it took losing him for her to realize it. She had told him once that she "was like Tinkerbell, she needed applause to live." But that 16 year old version of herself had been wrong, or naively unaware, because she hadn't yet realized the love of a man. As the years had passed Finn had changed her in the best possible ways. He loved her unconditionally through all her crazy and had never wavered. He was her rock and she had leaned on him on more than one occasion. He encouraged her, pushed her, loved her through it all. He had never wavered, until now!

_-Day 15-_

_She stood outside the bar staring at the door. She knew he was inside, that his band was playing a set here tonight. But she couldn't go in. Because what would ambushing him accomplish. But she had questions, questions she felt deserved answers. She wasn't sure at what point she had moved from sorrow to anger but she was defiantly angry. How could he just leave it like this. No closure, no chance for change. She wanted a fight, yelling and screaming. Something concrete in their break up. But instead she had softly spoken words and pleading. But still she stood, watching people stream into the bar. And if she closed her eyes she could see him sitting behind the drum set. That look of pure excitement on his face that he always got when he got the chance to play. She took a couple deep breaths and felt the anger subside. This wasn't how she was going to do this, this wasn't Rachel Berry._

_-Day 20-_

_Rachel's life was starting to get back to a normal pace. Despite the giant hole in her chest where her heart used to live. She wasn't over him but she was over feeling sorry for herself. The anger and pain subsided with each day and each day she felt stronger. So it seemed like a good thing to do when some of her theater friends asked her to go out to dinner with them. Being around people had become her distraction, when she wasn't alone, her thoughts could drift to things other than Finn. Being alone in her thoughts was like being in a cornucopia of hell. The night had gone well and Rachel actually felt somewhat normal. They went out to a karaoke bar and she sang for the first time since the break up and it felt good. Damn good to be honest so she sang her heart, what had been her heart, out. Then it happened…_

"_I would know those pipes anywhere"_

_Rachel turned to find Jesse smiling at her and everything came crashing down. For the first time in over a week she lost control of herself. Only it wasn't the crippling sadness, it was all the pent up anger._

"_Heard you let go of Lima" he said as she glared at him._

"_This is YOUR fault" she screamed at him. _

_People turned to stare at the commotion and her friends tried to pull her away. But she had to yell and she had found the perfect target._

"_My fault" he scoffed "From what I hear you were not being a very good girlfriend"_

"_FUCK YOU Jesse. How could you kiss me? When you knew we were together"_

"_Your gonna put this on me?" he asked_

"_You kissed me"_

"_And?"_

"_And what? Three years Jesse and you knew it"_

"_So I had heard you were together. Yes I knew. You can't blame a guy for trying"_

"_I can."_

"_Can You?"_

"_You fucking kissed me. You ruined my life"_

"_And that's what broke you up? Me kissing you?" he asked_

_And then it hit her. Everything became clear. Because it wasn't about the kiss. It was about so much more._

_-Day 26-_

"_Have you heard from him" Rachel asked into the phone._

_She heard silence on the other end._

"_Kurt?"_

"_You know I have Rachel" he said softly_

"_I just want to know that he's okay" she pleaded with him._

"_He's not Rachel. He's confused and broken. Just like you"_

"_Then why did he do it?" she sighed not really expecting an answer_

"_You know he got a full scholarship to the University of Alabama? But he chose New York" Kurt asked_

"_No, he never told me" she said softly_

"_And he never would. Because he was only worried about being with you. Making you happy. That's a lot of pressure on a guy, especially one as young and emotional as Finn. How can you love someone else properly when you don't even know who you are? He was drowning Rachel" Kurt said _

_And she knew he was right. Hearing what he had given up for her just made it so much more clear._

It took her 30 days of agony for her to see it. Because she had put her dreams first, New York had been her destiny for as long as she could remember. She never stopped to think if it was Finns destiny as well. She said let's go to New York and he had dutily followed. But she never stopped to think about his future, what he was sacrificing for her. He was settling for her, settling on being a teacher, settling on living in her shadow. And he was so much more than that. He had his own bright future ahead of him. Rachel kicked herself for not thinking of him sooner. He was the love of her life and loosing him made her realize that more than ever. So much had become clear to her over the last 30 days and most important of all was that she had to get her Finn back, that was if he would still have her.

1 Month

30 Days

720 Hours

720 Moments of Self Realization

30 Chances to start over

1 Opportunity to change her future


	9. Life After You

The song is Daughtry's Life After You! Thought it Finn and Rachel pretty well!

Chapter 9

Finn stood on the roof of his dorm room staring at the sprawling city before him. He wanted to remember this moment, the way the city looked as the last rays of sun dropped below the horizon, the way it sounded a constant hum of energy. New York might not have ended as he had hoped but he wanted to remember this. So when the years had passed he could look back through the haze of time and remember. Remember that he had actually been here, that she had really existed, in the shadows of his mind he would remember. And he would miss her and everything they were together. The past month had been hell. Finn had never felt such emotional pain in his life and the cruel reality was, he had caused this pain. He, Finn Hudson, had actually cried for what he had lost. But with the suffocating agony, he felt a strange sense freedom and fear. Now he had to actually take the next step, he had to make something of his life. And that scared the shit out of him.

It had been 30 days since he had seen her and he missed her like crazy. They had never gone more than a day without talking to each other in one way or another since they ahd gotten together. Every moment of the past month he felt like he spent thinking about her. What was she doing, who was she with, what was she wearing, was she okay? And he wanted to run across the campus, sweep the tiny brunette into his arms and kiss away every tear she had shed for them. Finn knew though that he couldn't do that, he had become so unhappy for a reason. So he accepted that despite his immense love for her, that maybe, at this point in their lives, they just were not meant to be together. She belonged to this city, it ran through her veins, so he had to let her go. Because his Rachel would flourish here, she would become a star and he hoped she would never look back, just like he had told her. And the memories of that stupid young boy from Lima, Ohio who broke her heart would fade with time and she would be okay. And he would remember, just what it had felt like to be loved by this women.

"Hey" his thoughts were interrupted.

Finn turned to see Dave standing in the doorway to the roof access.

"Hey man" Finn said taking one last glance at the city before walking towards Dave.

"Just wanted to make sure you were okay up here"

"Yeah, just taking it all in for the last time"

"I can't believe your leaving" Dave said "It has been an honor to have known you Finn Hudson"

Finn smiled at Dave

"Penn State is only a couple hours from the City"

"True. But I have never known a drummer with as much passion as you. You, my friend will be hard to replace"

And as they stood on the roof together in silence Finn knew that he would miss New York.

Rachel stood in front of the mirror making sure her hair looked okay. She was nervous, she couldn't believe she was actually going to do this. A week of school remained though and she was running out of time. She had decided to do summer semester so she was staying in New York but she knew Finn was leaving and she couldn't let him go without trying to fix this. So there she was standing in front of her mirror trying to gain the confidence to go talk to the boy she had once been able to tell everything to. She took a deep breath, come on Rachel, you can do this.

Rachel actually noticed a little pep to her step as she crossed campus towards the boys dorms. Her stomach must have contained 1000 butterflies but she tried not to think about that. This is Finn, Just Finn, My Finn she kept reminding herself as she walked. She was so engrossed inside her own mind that she almost walked dead into Dave.

"Sorry" she said looking up and realizing who it was.

"How have you been Rachel" he asked with a smile.

"I've been better. How's he?" she questioned because she knew Dave would know. He was the one person in this city that Finn had actually connected to.

"I think you already know" he said softly.

And Rachel knew that he was uncomfortable having this conversation with her because whatever Finn had been feeling, whatever he had spoken about, he had done so in confidence and Rachel respected that.

"Yeah. So is he in?" she asked nodding towards the building not far behind them.

"No, he's actually heading back to Ohio tonight"

"What? But there is a week of school left" she stammered

"He worked it out with his professors to take his finals early" Dave said.

Rachel's world came crashing down around her. Finn was leaving, left, gone. She shouldn't have waited so long and she felt tears brim to the corners of her eyes.

"Rachel" she heard Dave's soft voice and looked up "He's at Grand Central, you have an hour"

And Rachel barely got her thank you out before she started running for a cab.

* * *

**_Ten miles from town and I just broke down_**

**_Spittin' out smoke on the side of the road_**

**_I'm out here alone just tryin' to get home_**

**_To tell you I was wrong but you already know_**

**_Believe me I won't stop at nothin_**

**_'To see you so I've started runnin'_**

"Pull over" Rachel shouted to the cabby

"Wha"

"Pull over, now PULL OVER" Rachel yelled digging in her purse for money.

As the cabby slowed to a stop she pulled a wad of cash out of her purse and threw it at him. She got out of the cab and started running full force down the street. It had taken her 20 minutes to go 4 blocks and she was running out of time. So she ran, as fast as she could in her skirt and knee socks. Because nothing mattered more at this moment than getting to Finn. The pavement pounded beneath her feet and her calves burned from the exertion but she pushed her body on.

**_All that I'm after is a life full of laughter_**

**_As long as I'm laughin' with you_**

**_I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after_**

**_After the life we've been through'_**

**_Cause I know there's no life after you_**

**_

* * *

_**

_**Last time we talked, the night that I walked**_

_**Burns like an iron in the back of my mind**_

_**I must've been high to say you and **_

_**IWeren't meant to be and just wastin' my time**_

_**Oh, why did I ever doubt you?**_

_**You know I would die here without you**_

Finn stared at the large screen with the arrival and departure times of the trains. He knew he should be getting ready to board but he couldn't do it. He had to talk to her, he was wrong, he couldn't just leave. He dropped his bag and pulled out his phone only to find a dead battery.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me" Finn said in anger shoving the phone back into his pocket.

He grabbed his bag from the ground, threw it over his shoulder.

**_All that I'm after is a life full of laughter_**

**_As long as I'm laughin' with you_**

**_I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after_**

**_After the life we've been through'_**

**_Cause I know there's no life after you_**

**_

* * *

_**

Rachel could see her destination looming ahead of her. Her body ached but she pushed it on, she was almost there, and she could feel his presence. So she continued to run, weaving in and out of the pedestrians around her. She grabbed for the door pulling it open with all her strength and there he was.

"Finn" she yelled at the top of her lungs.

_**You and I, right or wrong, there's no other one**_

_**After this time I spent alone**_

_**It's hard to believe that a man with sight could be so blind**_

_**Thinkin' 'bout the better times, must've been outta my mind**_

_**So I'm runnin' back to tell you**_

_**All that I'm after is a life full of laughter**_

_**Without you God knows what I'd do, yeah**_

He looked up in shock, dropped his bag and started running. She was here, his Rachel. He didn't know how or why and he didn't' particularly care. She was here and that was all that mattered.

She collided into his arms as he swept her up in a hug. It felt so good, so natural and she never wanted it to end. His lips crashed down on hers and she could feel the all the emotions of the past month crackling between them like electricity. He could feel every familiar curve of her body beneath his hands and he actually thought he was dreaming for a moment. She pulled away from him and looked up with him with those big brown eyes and he felt his heart begin to heal. What had he been thinking, what kind of life would be worth living without his Rachel

"I'm so sorry Finn" she exclaimed

"So am I Rach. This is all my fault. I'm so sorry I hurt you"

"No, I take full responsibility for my actions. I never should have lied to you, I never should have ignored your feelings. You are everything to me Finn and I love you for everything that you are."

Tears reached Finns eyes and he didn't even care who saw him crying. He pulled her into his body again, wrapping his arms around her tiny frame. His hand stroked the hair on her head and he smiled.

"I love you Rachel Berry. More than the world"

_**All that I'm after is a life full of laughter**_

_**As long as I'm laughin' with you**_

_**I'm thinkin' 'bout all that still matters is love ever after**_

_**After the life we've been through, yeah**_

_**No there's no life after you**_

_**

* * *

**_

Rachel and Finn crashed into his dorm room, their hands and mouths were all over each other. They knew they had things to talk about, things to work out but tonight, tonight they were making up for a month of lost time. Finn kicked the door shut with one long leg as Rachel pushed him back against the door, hard. Both were shocked by her strength for only a moment before he grabbed her by the waist pulling her up his long frame. He spun them around pushing her back against the door. Her legs went around his waist as the thin fabric of her skirt rode up her thighs. Their tongues tangled in an unsinkable battle as his hands slide to her ass pulling her up and closer to him. He pushed away from the door, never breaking contact with her soft lips. The contact was finally broken when he felt her slide down his body. He was rock hard beneath his jeans and all he could think about right now was being buried deep inside of her. His thoughts were on that moment of sheer joy that he didn't resist when she pushed him hard onto the bed. She stood between his legs as he stared up at her from a sitting position. Her fingers touched the hem of her shirt and she pulled it from her body throwing it across the room. Finn couldn't take his eyes off her, he had seen her like this hundreds of times but she looked more beautiful tonight than he had ever seen her. He reached out to touch her and she gently slapped his hand away giving him a sexy smirk. She reached behind her and unzipped her skirt and he watched it travel down her legs as it fell to rest on the ground. She stepped out of it and kicked it away and he swore he almost lost it at just the sight of her in a bra, panties and those damn knee socks. He grunted in approval because words were at a total loss to him right now. She walked to him slowly and straddled his lap and his hands finally found the bare skin of her back. Her lips assaulted his in the most wonderful of ways and Finn could feel her grinding those little hips against his erection. He dropped his hands to her hips as she moved her lips down his jaw line, across his neck and her tongue ran against the length of his collarbone. He felt her hands at his waist tugging his shirt over his head and as soon as it was gone those amazing lips fell to drag across his nipples. He groaned out an approval

"Shit, Rach" he pushed against her hips harder

His penis yearned to be free of it's denim prison and Rachel could tell so she dropped her hands to his waist to undue his pants. She jumped off of him and grabbed an arm to pull him to his feet. She put her hands on his hips pulling his jeans and boxers down his legs in the most excrutiatly slow motion he had never experienced. From her position on the floor she slowly ran a tongue along the underside of his erection and Finn had to grab onto the wall to keep upright. He could not believe how new everything felt. They had explored every part of each other's bodies but yet it felt like the first time. She took him into her mouth all the way and moaned against his erection. The feeling vibrated from her throat up his erection

"Fuck" slipped from his lips as he pushed harder against the wall to steady himself again.

"You like that baby" she said pulling her mouth from his erection.

"Fuck yeah Rach" he said pulling her to her feet "but if you keep that up this won't last very long"

She looked at him innocently a smile creeping over her lips "We wouldn't want that to happen.""Defiantly not, because I plan on fucking your brains out"

Hearing him talk dirty to her lit a fire in her belly like nothing she had ever felt before. Finn and her tried not to swear in everyday life. But hearing his swear like this was driving her crazy.

In one quick move he had removed her bra with one hand. He swept and arm around her waist and pushed her down onto the bed. She bounced a little as her body made contact with the mattress and Finn half smiled at the way her body moved with the motion. He reached down, grabbed her panties the threw them across the room. He grabbed her waist pulling her to the edge of the bed, falling to his knees, he ran his tongue against her clit and she screamed in pleasure. He slid a finger and then two into her center as he ran his tongue against her clit over and over. She writhed beneath him and her breath became labored

"Oh shit, Finn, Oh god"

And then she lost it. She climaxed hard, her entire body shook under him, her hands tangled in his hair. He rode out her climax with his tongue pressed against her clit and pulled up when she finally stopped moving. He dipped his head down for a kiss and she could taste herself on his tongue and it thrilled her to no end. Finn grabbed her ankles, pulled them up over his shoulders and in one quick motion thrust into her. He groaned as he felt her tighten around him and all he wanted to do was pound into her. By practice they were generally a love making type of couple but tonight they were perfectly content on just fucking. The bed hit the wall hard as Finn thrust into her over and over, being careful not to be to rough with her. Her lips attacked his mouth with as much passion as his erection had slamming into her

"Oh God" she screamed out and Finn lost it as soon as he felt her contract around them. Their climaxes hit them hard and they both collapsed out of breath after riding them out. Finn reached out, grabbed her around her waist pulling her against his body.

"God how I've missed you" he whispered into her ear pulling the covers over them.

She looked over her should so she could see him and smiled

"I love you Finn".

And he smiled because knew, he'd always known.


	10. Transitions

This is a short one! It's really just a transitional chapter. Hope you enjoy

* * *

Rachel sat tucked comfortably into the booth of their favorite diner in the Village. It was early morning and the sun was just beginning to take it's hold on the sky. The only other people in the small homey diner were older couples and the tired looking staff. This time of morning was not one that Rachel and Finn were accustomed to but Rachel was so hungry she thought she could literally eat a horse. And this coming from a vegan. The night before had been a blur of longing embraces and passionate kisses. Before Finn was able to even catch his breath after their first heated romp Rachel was back on him. He wasn't sure what had gotten into her but he was pretty sure he had pressed her tiny frame against every flat surface in the small room, more than once. When the sky had finally began to lighten with the first traces of morning they lay physically exhausted, famished and happier than either had felt before. So they strolled arm and arm to their favorite place to get breakfast while most of the city was still in a peaceful slumber. And now Finn watched her slowly stirring her coffee with a large spoon and smiled. Her brown locks were a mess, her eyes looked tired but happy and she had a smile on her perfect lips.

"You never told me about Alabama" she said looking up at him.

He knew they had things to discuss but he didn't want to ruin the amazing calm that had come over them.

"We can talk later" he said sipping his coffee

"I don't plan on doing much talking once I get you back to the dorm and get those clothes off you" she smiled sexily at him and he felt himself grow a little hard at the thought.

"1022 miles, 16 hours and 39 minutes" he said.

"What?"

"That's how far Tuscaloosa is from New York City"

"We could have worked it out" she said softly

"Rachel, the last place in the world I wanted to be was a world away from you. It was never an option for me. I wanted to come to NY, I wanted to experience all of this with you. To see this city through your eyes."

"That was a lot to give up Finn" she said

"It wasn't even a second thought. New York was where you were so New York was where I was"

"But it almost ruined us" her voice was a whisper. He could hear the faint presence of the pain he had caused and his heart ached. He would never be able to take the last month away but he swore to himself he would never again hurt her.

"Never my intention Rachel, I thought this was genuinely what I wanted" he honestly told her.

"But I should had looked out for you as you have always looked out for me"

"Rachel I have never doubted your dedication to me. I just grew up a little and realized that what I thought I wanted and what I do want are a little different. The only part of the equation that never changed, even in our darkest hours, was you. I left you because I was a coward"

"No" she smiled "you were just confused"

"Yeah that too" he smiled.

"And now" she looked up to him.

He took a deep breath, sipped his coffee and felt his stomach rumble. But he knew he had to be honest with her, from this moment on he always would be.

"I got into Penn State"

She looked at him, she saw the fear in his eyes. He was afraid of her reaction, she was shocked. She smiled at him

"Closer than Alabama"

"4 hours, 250 miles" he smiled, he had checked.

"I'm sorry about all this" she said softly "for trying to control you."

"Well you are a controllist" he said with a chuckle

"I'm serious Finn. I was so worried about achieving my own dreams I forgot about yours. I took you for granted, I assumed you would always be there" her voice was almost a whisper and she could feel tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

He reached across the table and grabbed her hands. She looked down at the wood grain of the table and not up at him.

"Look at me" he said softly "Rachel look at me."

She looked up, the stupid tears streaming down her face. He leaned forward and wiped a tear away from her cheek.

"I would not take back the last year for anything in the world. It's the hard times in life that build our character. The last month was horrible and I feel like awful for everything that happened but I would not give up a minute of the last year because it has brought us here. We are together and stronger than ever."

She smiled at him

"I just know what I want out of my life too" he finished.

"I love you Finn Hudson"

"And I love you Rachel Berry, it's always been you"

"So Penn State" she said gently

"You know they have a Sports Journalism program?" he said excitedly.

And she was happy for him, he had really put time and thought into this. Finn Hudson, Sports Journalist, her Sports Journalist.

* * *

It had taken days for Rachel to convince her Dad's to back out of summer session. They thought she was only doing it so she could spend the summer with Finn but she just wanted some time out of the City. They gave her the usual lectures about being an adult and taking her commitments seriously. Finally she had been able to convince them that she needed time home in Ohio to decompress from the craziness of the City. Well that and she wanted to spend her summer with Finn, she didn't tell them that though. Being home in Ohio felt great, especially now that they were back together so strongly. Last time they had been home things had been on the downslide but now things were even better than before. The summer flew by for the couple and before they knew it, it was late August and only a week remained before they had to head back to college. This time however they were heading to different colleges in different cities. 4 hours she reminded herself, it was nothing they couldn't handle together. Finn had spent the summer working with Puck and was able to save up enough money for a car of his very own. The light blue Pontiac Grand Am was nothing special but it could make the 4 hour drive, and that was enough for him. Rachel had to laugh a little at the smile on his face when he drove that Grand Am off the lot that Monday afternoon

"You're like a kid in a candy shop" she told him.

He was playing with all the dials on the dash, pushing buttons. She sat in the passenger seat and watched as the wipers swiped across the windshield. He hit a button and the hair blew her hair around at full force, he hit it again and it went off. He clicked the turn signal on first the left and then the right. He had the biggest goofy grin on his face as hit the hazard lights on then off again.

"This is awesome"

She laughed at him "Finn Hudson, you would think you've never been in a car before"

"This is my car though, all mine, and I paid for it all myself" he said proudly

"I know baby" she laughed playfully at him.

He leaned over the shifter and placed a soft kiss on her lips. She looked up at him and his eyes sparkled

"What" she asked

"Let's christen her" he smirked

"What?" she asked with eyebrows raised "Here?"

"No silly, I know the place though" he smiled.

"Okay" she smiled back feeling the familiar flutter in her abdomen.

Honestly their sex life had been out of control lately. Finn was like a drug to her and she could not get enough of him. All their friends joked about how they were in their honeymoon phase when they continuously blew them off all summer. But Finn and Rachel didn't care, they wanted to get as much of each other as they could while they could.

Finn was slumped against the backdoor of his Grand Am. His naked girlfriend was sprawled across his tall frame. He had a hand around her waist and was just watching her, taking her in. Her eyes were closed, a smile on her face, her hair was damp and clung to her neck and arms. She looked beautiful in the light of the sinking sun. He wanted to remember every inch of her body so he closed his eyes and committed it into his memory bank. He knew they should get dressed and head back into town but he could lay here in the back of his car with her like this forever.

"Are you okay?" her voice interrupted his thoughts

"Yeah baby fine" he said but his voice didn't sound fine

"Finn I know you better than that" she turned to look at him, her breasts brushing against his bare chest.

"I don't want to leave you, leave this" he said quietly

"I know, I'm going to miss you like crazy"

"I don't know if I can do it" he said honestly. He felt like he was about to have a breakdown.

"We can do this Finn. I'm going back to New York to tackle Broadway and you are going to Penn State to become a Sports Broadcaster and we are going to take over the world baby. Someday everyone will know Finn Husdon and Rachel Berry, we will be household names".

Her enthusiasm made him feel better instantly and he smiled down at her giving her a little kiss.

"Besides" she started again "just think how much fun it will be when we get to see each other"

Finn chuckled at his beautiful, smart, talented, horny girlfriend. He was a lucky bastard to have this women in his life. He knew the next couple months without her would be hard but he felt deep down he was doing the right thing, for them, for their future.


	11. 250 Miles

**October**

~Penn State~

Finn could feel the anticipation building. That familiar feeling that started in the pit of his stomach and spread to the very tips of his fingers and toes. His breath came faster as his eyes took in the scene before him. His fingers tingled with electric excitement, as he squatted down. He could hear his heart beating into his ears, his pulse racing with excitement. Then those familiar word slipped from his lips

"Hut Hut Hike"

The ball landed in his hands in the old familiar way and he reacted from second nature, backing up and throwing a flawless pass to his teammate up the field. Just seconds after the ball left his fingers Finn felt the slamming force take him to the ground. This had to be what he had missed most about football, he knew it sounded crazy but being hit made him feel alive. When he had joined the team he never thought he would get off the bench for at least the first season but the previous quarterback had just graduated and they couldn't deny Finn's talent. It had never occurred to him in high school how good he really was at this game because the team had been so bad but Finn could hold his own against some of the brightest talents in college ball. The pass was completed perfectly and the crowd roared as the receiver took off dodging blockers as he ran for the end zone. It was still weird to Finn to not have Puck receiving his balls. Finn picked himself up off the ground and watched as the end zone was crossed, the ball punted off the ground. A smile came over his face behind the protection of his helmet. He felt himself being patted forcefully on his back by his teammates. He couldn't believe he had gone this long without playing the game. Getting back into the swing of things had been rough, the coach had beat Finn's ass in practice but every grueling moment was worth it. Finn had no intention of going into the NFL or anything but he truly loved playing college ball. It was like high school only better. The stadiums were larger, the fans more rabid, the opponents stronger and the cheerleaders hotter. Hey he was still a guy, he could look though none of them were quite as hot as his petite girlfriend 250 miles away. Finn looked at the scoreboard, their victory shining brightly in the night sky, he could hear the roar of the crowd behind him. And he was happy.

Finn left the locker room all smiles. The other guys on the team were heading to some Frat Party but Finn had other plans.

"Hudson" he heard his name called and turned smiling in the voices direction.

"Puck" he said greeting him in a very unmanly hug. They didn't care though, it was nice to see each other again.

The two men had been waiting for Ohio State and Penn to play so they could get to spend sometime together. They thought it would be weird to oppose each other but it hadn't been at all, each had respect for the other's talent.

"Sorry we had to wipe the floor with your boys" Finn laughed as the two headed out of the stadium together.

"Yeah well, we will get you next time" Puck promised and Finn feared he might have been right, the teams were pretty evenly matched.

"So we can hit the frat party at Kappa Epsilon or we can hit some of the college bars; pizza, wings and a pitcher."

"Quinn will kill me if she finds out I hit up a frat party" he answered honestly but Finn could see through him.

"You sure man, what happens at Penn, stays at Penn" Finn laughed as he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

"I'm not trying to mess this up this time. I did that enough in High School" Puck responded.

Finn pulled the phone out and flipped it open

_Did you win? -Rachel_

Finn started hitting the buttons as they reached his car, typing out a quick message and feeling the familiar loneliness of not having her here.

_Yeah. It wuz close but we pulled it out-Finn_

Puck and Finn got into his car and he drove to a small bar near the campus. It was a favorite of the guys on the team and many a Monday night they would gather to watch football on the big screen TV's. The majority of the guys on the team were underage but the bartenders never ID the football players, in fact he rarely even charged them for their drinks. Being on the team had some definite perks, most of which Finn had no interest in participating in. He missed Rachel like crazy and most guys would be tempted by the girls who would literally throw themselves at them but for Finn there was only 1 girl he wanted. And he was a lucky enough bastard to still have her and he wasn't doing anything in the world to mess that up.

_Awesome. Tell Puck I said Hi. Have Fun. I Love You- Rachel_

Finn plucked out a return message as he walked into the bar with his friend

_I miss you like crazy my love-Finn_

As Finn slid into a booth across from Puck his thoughts were all on Rachel and how much he would kill to see her right now. He knew they had agreed to get settled before they started spending their weekends commuting to see each other but he would give anything see her, touch her, smell her.

"You okay" Puck asked from across the table "You seem like your somewhere else"

"Yeah man" Finn answered but Puck was right, he was somewhere else. 250 Miles away in the Concrete Jungle.

_

* * *

_

_~NYU~_

Rachel thought being back in the city without Finn would be a nightmare but she had been pleasantly surprised. Falling back into her routine in the city had been shockingly easy though she did miss Finn almost every minute. But like the show, life, did go on. Rachel was comforted in the fact that her Finn was only a 4 hour drive away, a bit longer by train. This semester she was living in a suite with some of her theater major friends from her first semester and it was a ton of fun. They all got along really well and had all the same goals for their lives. Rachel loved being able to come home and have people there who understood her daily plight of being an artist in the big city.

She had only been back a week before she had 3 auditions set up and quickly landed a role in an off Broadway rendition of Legally Blond. It wasn't a starring role but it was a large one and it was in New York. No more taking smelly buses to New Jersey to play to crowds of tourists and seniors in bad clothing. She truly enjoyed playing to people who understood the theater community and truly took her art for what it was. She had been so excited at landing the role that she had almost jumped a train to Penn State to tell Finn in person. Thankfully Skype existed and she was able to tell him almost in person. In fact Skype had become her favorite thing, there was something about being able to see and hear Finn but not touch him that sort of excited her. It made her actually crave the idea of getting to see him again. The couple had agreed that they should wait a bit before starting to make the trip to see one another to get into the groove of school. While they both knew how important they were to their lives they both had very strong aspirations about their success in school as well. But honestly her thoughts were always with him and she found herself bringing him up in random conversations like she did when he was just a school age crush. She was sure she drove people crazy with her constant blabbing about Finn but she didn't care, she loved talking about her boyfriend. The Quarterback of Penn States Nittany Lions.

Rachel put her phone away with a smile hoping that Finn had a good time with Puck. The two men had had some bad blood between them for a while but the years had brought their friendship back together and she was happy that he got to spend some time with his friend. Honestly though she was a bit jealous of Puck and that he was getting to spend this whole weekend with Finn. Plus Puck staying with Finn meant no marathon phone conversations and sexy Skype sessions this weekend for the two of them. She leaned back against her pillows and smiled at the thought of her boyfriend when her phone went off . She looked at the display in confusion when she saw Quinn's name on the display. The two girls had never been close friends and while they had let the past be just that the past they still never hung out on a solo basis. There was a lot of bad blood between them and while she knew that Quinn had moved on from her relationship with Finn year ago, there would always be that what if factor for Quinn.

"Hello" she answered tentatively wondering if Quinn had called her by mistake.

"Rachel" Quinn's voice answered.

"Yea"

"I was thinking, how long would it take you to get to Penn State?"

Now Rachel's curiosity was piqued "About 5 hours by train, 6 by bus."

"Let's surprise our boys" Quinn said excitedly

"What?" Rachel was a bit confused to say the least

"I miss him like crazy" she said honestly into Rachel's ear.

"Are you just trying to check up on him" she asked Quinn honestly.

"No, I realize after all these years that I trust him. I just miss him. He's been away a lot recently with all these away games and busy when he is here with school and football."

Rachel realized it had been over a month since she had seen Finn herself and started to get excited at the idea of surprising him by just showing up.

"I couldn't leave until the morning" Rachel responded already rising to pack her overnight bag. It was crazy she knew, to travel all that way to spend 1 day with him but she had already made up her mind.

"That's fine" Quinn said "Call me in the morning"

And with that the phone went dead and a huge smile crossed Rachel's lips and one thought crossed her mind, Finn….


	12. What Happens at Penn

Once Rachel had made the decision to travel to University Park to visit Finn it was the only thing she could think about. It had been just after 7 pm when she had received Quinn's phone call and now here she was taking a cab to pick up her rental car. She knew her Dad's would kill her if they found out why she had used her emergency credit card to rent a car so she decided to tell them she needed it to get to an audition outside of the city. She realized she had been lying to her Dad's quite a bit lately but she couldn't tell them she was driving 4 hours, in the middle of the night, to visit Finn. The lying was something she told herself she would work on but for now keeping her Dad's pleasantly unaware was her plan. Rachel had quickly returned Quinn's call to tell her of her updated plans. She knew that there was more to Quinn's story than she was telling and she wasn't really sure what her motives were but she didn't care, she just wanted to see Finn. Rachel was shocked to find out that Quinn was already on the road when she called her. Columbus was a good 7 hours from Penn State so she didn't have a minute to spare. Rachel figured that by the time she got the car, got out of the city and on the road she would make to University Park about the same time as Quinn.

It was just after midnight when Rachel drove the tiny Chevy Aveo into the McDonald's lot where Quinn said she would meet her. She could feel the anticipation deep down in her belly and her hand shook a little when she thought of getting to see Finn. She was here, in his town, and he didn't even know it. She looked in her rearview mirror and applied a light amount of make up. Rachel wasn't a big fan of make-up, especially stage make-up, but she thought that if applied modestly it really did the trick. She heard a tap on her window and looked out to see Quinn standing above her. She had a long black coat pulled around her thin frame. She didn't look as ecstatic as Rachel felt, Quinn looked worried. Rachel knew this was about something more than just surprising the boys because they were missed. Quinn was testing Puck, she still distrusted him and apparently did so enough to want to drive 7 hours to see what he was doing. Rachel felt a bit of worry cross her emotions, was there a reason Quinn didn't trust Puck with Finn. Was all this some ploy to make her see something else that was happening. Rachel cursed herself for even thinking the thoughts, this was her Finn, of course she trusted him. She shook her head and popped the door open, she couldn't believe she was letting these thoughts come to her mind. Whatever issues Quinn and Puck had, are Quinn and Puck's. She was here to see Finn and that was what was important to her.

"You have no clue where your going do you?" Rachel asked Quinn frustrated.

They had been driving around for almost and hour, it was near 1 in the morning and Rachel was wondering if this was maybe not the best idea in the world. Quinn had swore she knew how to get to the campus from McDonalds so Rachel had locked up her rental and left it in the back corner of the fast food joints lot. She yawned from her seat and turned to stare at Quinn who made another in a series of right hand turns that lead to no where.

"I thought I did" Quinn said quietly.

"Uh, pull over at that gas station. I'll ask" Rachel spatted out.

It had turned out that they were really close to the college, in fact they had somehow been driving around it for an hour. It only took them a matter of minutes to get on campus and lucky for them there was really only 1 road in and out of the dorms. They found Finn's dorm building quickly and Rachel practically skipped up the steps as they entered the building. She expected some sort of security, like they had at NYU, but they were able to just walk into the dorm and up to the second floor. Finn shared a 3 room suite with two other guys from the football team and from what he told Rachel they were okay guys. She found the room she was looking for, Quinn trailing behind her and knocked excitedly. The door was opened by a young man in Penn State sweatpants and nothing else.

"I'm looking for Finn Husdon"

"Yeah you and everyone else sweetie" he said back to her

"Excuse Me?" said Rachel in shock.

"What you think you're the first chicks to show up at this door in the middle of the night?" the guy chuckled

"What?" Quinn asked looking carefully in Rachel's direction.

"The boy is the Quarterback, he's got chicks coming at him from every direction. Works well for me because I'm lucky enough to receive the spray off" he said turning his attention to Quinn.

"Is he here or not" Quinn snapped.

Rachel just stood in the doorway, her mouth hanging open. She was in shock. Chicks, many Chicks and all interested in her Finn. Interested enough to band on his door and apparently his roommate in the middle of the night.

"Nah, he's out with his boy from Ohio. I'm pretty entertaining myself though" he said running a hand up Quinn's arm. She batted his hand away and stared at him in disbelief.

"Gross, so not interested. Where can I find Finn?"

"You are missing out. Besides, what do you think is going to happen when you find him?" he asked her.

"What is that supposed to mean" Quinn said a little offended. She was pretty sure this douche bag just insulted them.

"Come on… you know Finn Hudson, clearly, if your hunting him down in the middle of the night. He's either at the Kappa party or downtown at Sport C's. Good luck" and then the door slammed in her face.

"Rachel" Quinn said touching her arm.

"What just happened?"

"Don't make assumptions until you talk to Finn" Quinn said

But Rachel's mind was already racing. Was she really important enough to fight off the onslaught of beautiful girls throwing themselves at Finn. He had always been a big man on campus and here he was right in his comfort zone. Rachel was scared, no worse she was terrified of what her surprise trip would reveal.

* * *

Finn laughed out loud, a true belly laugh. He had forgotten how much fun Puck could really be. The man was hilarious in that understated kind of way.

"Hey Finn" he heard the voice before he saw her and rolled his eyes.

The tall blond leaned over the table, thrusting her boobs in his general direction.

"Hey Mandie" he said unenthusiastically

"Who's your friend?" she said licking her lips.

Mandie was a senior, head of her sorority and co captain of the cheerleading squad. She had been trying to get her teeth into Finn since he first showed up on campus. Finn was not at all interested but she just didn't get it. Sure she was a pretty girl but she was not Rachel Berry.

"This is Puck, we went to high school together" he said boredom thick in his voice.

"So I was thinking you boys should come to the Kappa party with us. Maybe make a night of it" she purred in Puck's direction.

"Mandie I don't think" Finn started

"Kappa party huh?" Puck said smiling in her direction.

"Yeah if there is one thing we know it's how to party" she smiled back.

"PUCK" Finn said to get his attention.

"Huh" Puck said looking back in Finn's direction.

"What about making it right with Quinn, what about Quinn killing you if you go to a sorority party?"

"What about 'What happens at Penn, stays at Penn' bro?" Puck said staring Finn down

"You have got to be kidding me" Finn shot back

"Hey don't be such a square Finn, I don't bite. Unless of course you want me to" she laughed.

"Can I talk to you for a minute" Finn said sliding from the booth and pulling Puck out from the other side and towards the front door.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Finn said as the door had barely shut behind them.

"Chill bro, Puckasauras knows what he's doing" Puck laughed

"Seriously? Is this high school again?" Finn choked out. The last thing he needed was Puck encouraging Mandie. Plus he knew that if this got back to Quinn it would somehow be his fault. It's always his fault where Quinn is involved, always has been.

"Look lets just go to the party, check it out. I'll be good I promise" Puck smiled.

Finn highly doubted that but who was he to argue with Puck's thought process.

"Fine, whatever you want" Finn grumbled.

* * *

Quinn was practically pulling Rachel down the street towards the bar. It hadn't been hard to find out where it was and it was close to campus.

"Rachel, come on, snap out of it" Quinn was getting annoyed.

"I'm fine really" she lied through her teeth.

"No your not, stupidly. Finn loves you, you know that" Quinn snapped.

She pushed into the bar and scanned the room. Rachel followed her scanning the room herself. Quinn pushed her way to the bar and got the bartenders attention. As beautiful as Quinn was in high school she was even more gorgeous now so it wasn't hard for her to get a man's attention. Rachel often wondered why she kept going back to Puck when she could have her pick of almost everyone.

"Hey were looking for Finn Hudson, I'm sure you know who he is" she smiled at him

"Yeah Finn's a great guy, but you ladies are to late. He just left" the bartender said leaning closer to Quinn as Rachel stood back and watched.

"Where did he go?" Rachel finally spoke.

"I'm betting the Kappa party" the bartender responded.

"Are you sure?" Quinn purred at him

"Pretty sure, they were with some Kappa's" he answered.

Quinn looked back at Rachel and the expression on her face said it all, and it wasn't good. She had to find Finn now before Rachel had a mental breakdown.


	13. Stays at Penn

Chapter 13

Puck had girls draped all over him as the music pounded in the background. The pounding music almost rivaled Finn's pounding head. He really wasn't a party guy and he hated being put into this situation. He wasn't really sure what Puck's motivation was, after all this talk about making it right with Quinn this time, but Finn figured that the alcohol running through his friends veins was a big part of it. He could hear Puck's laughter from across the room and Finn knew that nothing could be that funny. All he wanted to do was head back to his room and talk to Rachel. He felt like he was doing something wrong, that he was in some way not being faithful to their relationship. He knew that was crazy because he wasn't actually doing anything. In fact he hadn't said more than two words to anyone since he got here. They prob thought he was some sort of freak or something, spending him evening huddled in a chair in the corner. He was a little ticked at Puck too, he had way to much to drink and it was clearing showing now. And these sorority girls loved them some fresh meat, not that Puck was fresh meat, he'd been around the block more than once before high school even ended. Plus Finn had spent way to much time trying to separate himself from Mandie, to make it clear that he was never going to be an option for her, and Puck was not making this any easier. No matter how many times he told the girl he was happily taken she didn't get it.

"Finn" Puck yelled out across the room and Finn turned in his direction.

Mandie approached him and tugged his arm.

"Come on Finnie…. Body shots, you can do me" she purred.

"I'm not really in the mood" Finn said pulling back from her.

"Finn, bro, bring it over here" Puck shouted waving him in their direction

"Yeah come on Finnie" she pouted.

"No I pass. And please don't call me Finnie"

"What is your problem?" she grumbled in his direction.

She backed walked towards him again grabbing at him. She was completely hammered and wouldn't take no for an answer. He dodged her grab jumping up from the chair.

"As I've said before I have a girlfriend who I love" Finn said.

_Rachel, his beautiful girlfriend, if she was putting him in this predicament he would be all over it. He could see her long legs, her little hands all over him._

"So does Puck but he still has fun" she batted her eyelashes at him breaking into this thoughts of Rachel.

"Clearly he doesn't love Quinn as much as I love Rachel" he told her backing up some more and feeling the stiff coldness of the wall behind him and the harsh reality that he had lost his escape route.

"Rachel…. That's her name…. how cute" she slurred her speech as she spoke pushing her body up against Finn. He tried to side step away from her but she matched his movement.

"Mandie I'm not comfortable with this" he didn't want to have to physically move her away, he was a lot bigger than her.

"Is she cuter than me? Sexier?" she pouted pushing her chest in his direction.

"Puck" Finn shouted out, this was getting out of hand. He felt her hand run up his thigh and he batted it away "PUCK".

Puck turned around and fist pumped the air in Finn's direction before turning back around. _What the hell is this, the Jersey Shore_ Finn thought. Mandie went up on her tip toes and tried to brush her lips against his neck. _Shit, is this really happening to me. _He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back from him.

"Come on Finnie, let's go upstairs" she said grabbing at him again.

"PUCKERMAN" Finn shouted again and Puck turned around again only this time he walked towards them shedding the girls that had been hanging on him.

"Oooh threesome, you Ohio boys are CRAZY" Mandie yelled out throwing her head back.

"NO…. no threesome, no twosome, no NOTHING" Finn said angrily as Puck finally reached his side and pulled Mandie away from him. Mandie easily shrugged Puck off her and lunged at Finn again. It was then that the worst thing in the world happened. Finn heard a very familiar voice, and that voice was not happy.

"WHAT THE HELL FINN" Rachel yelled over the music

_Rachel, wait what is Rachel doing here? Am I dreaming? Rachel, my Rachel, Oh no. This looks bad. Really Really Bad._

"Rachel what are you doing here?" he tilted his head a little "Quinn?"

At that Pucks head snapped up, Quinn was glaring at him. If looks could kill her eyes would have shot everyone dead in this room. Puck moved away from Mandie who finally realized the attention was no longer on her.

"SURPRIZE, Is this how you spend your time here?" Rachel shouted over the music and Finn felt his stomach drop.

"Rachel" he reached for her but she backed up. _Oh god, she's pissed. Why is this happening to me._

"Don't fucking touch me Finn Hudson" she yelled in his direction

"Rachel, Please, This is NOT what it looks like"

"Oh really? Because it looks like your cheating on me"

"Never Rachel, You know me"

"I thought I did" she said softly

"You came to check up on me" Puck hissed in Quinn's direction from where he was standing next to Finn.

"Seems like it was a good thing I did" Quinn shot back

"Yeah well looks can be deceiving Quinn, you shouldn't jump to conclusions" Puck responded

"Fuck your conclusions PUCKERMAN" Quinn shoved him hard.

"I thought you loved me Finn" Rachel called out snapping Finn back to his own current dilemma.

"I do love you Rachel"

"You have a funny way of showing it" she shot back.

She was practically on her tiptoes yelling at her 6'3" boyfriend in the middle of a sorority party and she had to wonder how her life had come to this. This weekend was supposed to be perfect.

"Who the hell are you" Mandie stumbled over to the girls putting her arm around Finn.

Finn shrugged her off and turned his direction to her. His eyes burned with an angry fire "Go away."

"Who the hell are you" Rachel shot back.

Finn's eyes opened wide. This was very out of character for Rachel but she was fuming, he could tell.

"Why don't you step off him bitch" Mandie shot back in her direction "can't you see we are trying to have a good time"

Rachel stepped to her. Mandie towered over her but Rachel was running on pure adrenaline alone.

"Who are you calling a bitch. Slut"

"Slut?"

"Yeah, the way I see you are the one trying to hook up with two very taken guys"

"Who are you to tell him what to do, your not his mother" Mandie weaved a bit

"I'm his fucking girlfriend"

"You're the girlfriend? The girl from New York?" Mandie seemed shocked and Rachel's heart fluttered that Finn had mentioned her. "Little Miss Rachel from the big city."

"Ding ding bitch" Quinn joined into the fray

"And who the fuck are you" Mandie yelled

"I'm his girlfriend" she said motioning to Puck

"Well why don't you worry about your man and back off me" Mandie yelled at Quinn before she spun towards Finn and put her hand on his chest "If you ever wanna step up to a real women, call me, you'd be amazed to see how flexible I am"

Rachel lost it then, she flew forward and slammed into Mandie knocking them both to the ground. Mandie reached up and grabbed onto Rachel's hair but it didn't phase her as she punched Mandie hard.

"IF YOU EVER TOUCH HIM AGAIN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF" Rachel screamed

"YOUR GONNA STOP ME? YOU'RE AN ELF" Mandie screamed back

'ELF? SEEMS TO ME GOOD THINGS COME IN SMALL PACKAGES"

Finn, Puck and Quinn all jumped into action pulling Rachel off of Mandie. She fought back against them. Mandie pulled herself to her feet as Rachel scrambled to her again but Quinn stepped between them and shoved Mandie, hard, back to the floor. It took both boys to get Rachel away from the blond cheerleader and out of the sorority house.

* * *

"We need to talk" Rachel said to Finn once they had gotten her calmed down. Nobody said anything as they walked across campus until they got to the commons. Quinn and Puck were screaming at each other and Rachel was pretty sure that neither of them were actually listening to what the other was saying. There was just accusations and defenses swirling in the air around them.

Finn lead Rachel to a nearby bench and they sat

"What the fuck is going on Finn" she asked him honestly.

"It's not what you are thinking Rachel. Your probably thinking that I'm out here living it up. Being big man on campus, cheating on you" he said honestly.

Rachel looked into Finn's brown eyes as he continued "That's what it looks like Finn"

"I could never do that to you Rachel because you are my everything. I think about you all the time. What your doing and how you are. Everything I do is for us Rachel, for our future."

"But all these girls.." she started

"Are not Rachel Berry. You are the only women I have ever loved and you will be the only women I ever love"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure" he answered

She looked at him "When you roommate told me about all the girls I got scared."

"Its okay to worry but I'm telling you honestly that you have nothing to worry about. I lost you once Rachel and it was the worst time of my adult life. There is nothing, nobody that I would ever want more than you"

Finn took Rachel's hand and smiled that crooked smile at her "You got quite the right hook"

She laughed "I don't know what came over me."

Rachel looked a little crazy. Her hair was all over the place, there were scratches on her neck and a bruise on her arm.

"Would it be wrong of me to say I thoroughly enjoyed you decking her" Finn laughed

"Who is she?" Rachel asked honestly

"She is a cheerleader, president of her sorority and a royal pain in my ass. Trust me Rachel, she is not a threat to you"

"I really didn't think you were a sorority party type of guy" she said softly

"I'm not, but Puck wanted to go. He was hammered and apparently not making good choices. I know I should have said no but we were just trying to have a good time. Believe me Rachel, there is nobody else"

"I'm sorry I doubted you Finn"

"I doubted you once myself Rachel, I know how it happens"

"I love you" she smiled at him "and I trust you"

"I love you too Rach and I'm so happy to see you!"

"Surprise" she said again laughing this time.

A short time later Puck and Quinn walked over to join Rachel and Finn on the bench. They were holding hands and Quinn was beaming. Rachel looked up at Finn confused.

"We're getting married" Quinn said excitedly and Rachel's breath hitched in her throat.

"What" Finn said in disbelief

"She speaks the truth bro" Puck answered slipping his arm around Quinn's waist

"How… you don't even trust him" Rachel squeaked out.

"He swore that he had no intention of cheating on me tonight. I didn't believe that so I told him to prove it to me" Quinn started "he looked at me, smiled and asked me to marry him"

"The ultimate commitment right bro" Puck smiled at Finn

Rachel could see a bit of sadness in Finn's eyes "Right man".

_Puck and Quinn, Married. That should be us, after all this time. _He thought.

Puck leaned down and planted a steamy kiss on Quinn's lips "We are gonna get outta here, we have some celebrating to do"

And as they walked away arm and arm Rachel followed them with her eyes in pure disbelief. This was not really happening…

* * *

Finn and Rachel were laying in his small bed tangled in the sheets. He was running a hand lazily up and down her bare back. His eyes were closed and he was breathing in a steady rhythm. There lovemaking had been hot and frantic and left them both exhausted. She knew he wasn't sleeping but he was happily relaxed, calm. But Rachel's mind was racing, all she could think about was Puck and Quinn's revelation. How could they be getting married, their lives, their relationship was a mess. Half the time they didn't even know if they were together, or trust each other enough to be together. How could they just dive off into the abyss and hope everything came out alright. Rachel did not understand, Quinn had come here to find her "boyfriend" drunken and being hung on by women one minute only to accept a marriage proposal from him the next. The ultimate commitment Puck had called it. Rachel always thought that people who just dove into things were crazy. She had everything planned in her life, the career, the awards and then, maybe then a family. Marriage was had been at the very bottom of that list for so long, maybe it was because she never actually pictured herself getting married before Finn, but also because she knew marriage wasn't a necessity. Her Dads were never married but lived a happily domestic life together. They didn't need a piece of paper to tell them to love each other, they already did. She had always thought that her career must come first, that somehow, being a wife and mother would be compromising who she was. But couldn't she be both, was it possible to really have it all. Finn had always known that she wanted her career before marriage and children and he patiently waited for her. She called the shots and he let her because he loved her and all he wanted was to be with her. Now though she was scared that Finn would never pop the question and that scared her. She had spent so much time telling him how important her career was he probably never thought he would marry her. But she was wrong because now she realized that her Dad's were never married because they couldn't marry, legally, she believed that if they could marry each other they would. She had planned her whole life out from such a single sided point of view. The dreams and aspirations she had been working for her entire life had been formed in the mind of a young girl who didn't know any better. Could she actually be jealous of the chaotic relationship Quinn and Puck had. She had Finn had been together for over 3 years, they were young, but not kids anymore. Everything that had made sense in her life was no longer making any sense at all. She had been so driven for her career but now, now she wanted something just as much, a family and that scared the shit out of her.


	14. Revelation

~October 2014-One Year Later~

Rachel stood in front of the full length mirror in her yellow tea-length gown. The dress was beautiful and Rachel felt sort of like a princess in it. The soft color of the gown complimented her olive skin and dark hair. The yellow satin circled around her calves as she moved. She could not believe this day was really here, that this was actually happening. When she had found out about Puck's proposal to Quinn she had had a near mental breakdown. The prospect of Quinn and Puck actually getting married jarred her to the core. Finn had tried to reassure her, pointing out that Puck had been completely intoxicated and Quinn was just happy to hear a sort of commitment from him. He pointed out that nobodies love was as epic as theirs and they didn't need a piece of paper to prove that. She smiled back at her wonderful boyfriend but deep down his words did nothing to placate her. So she waited to hear the word that the wedding was not actually happening, that Quinn was not going to become Mrs. Quinn Puckerman before she became Mrs. Rachel Hudson. But the call never came and as the months passed the wedding plans were built. They would have a fall wedding back home in Ohio, Finn had accepted the role of Best Man and Rachel had been shocked when her former rival had asked her to be a bridesmaid. Ever since their crazy trip to Penn State to surprise their boys Quinn had viewed Rachel differently. She had told Rachel one drunken night back home in Ohio during summer break that if it were not for Rachel agreeing to go on that trip with her that she and Puck would not be where they were now. And according to Quinn he had become a different man since he asked her to marry him. But Rachel had her doubts, how could he change that quickly, how could the idea of getting married make their relationship so much better. Were they not the same people, with the same issues and the same past. How could one simple promise change their lives so greatly and how could Quinn really trust him, deep down. But by all accounts and all that Rachel saw she truly did trust him. They were moving forward, becoming a family, and there was something inside of Rachel that was insanely jealous of this because while her and Finn were doing great together, they were stuck in a rut. They were not moving forward, they were just moving back and forth across the same horizontal line.

"Rachel" she heard a soft voice interrupt her thoughts.

She looked up to see Quinn standing before her. She was stunning in a white satin gown that accented everything that made Quinn beautiful. She was stunning and Rachel felt like she could actually cry

"You look amazing" she said softly.

"Come on, it's time" she smiled at her new found friend "There is a boy waiting down there who wants to make me his wife"

Rachel just smiled back at her as they left the small changing room, because there was a boy waiting for her too, only he didn't even know she wanted to be his wife, right now, more than anything.

* * *

"Quinn, I stand before you because you have won my heart through your are my life partner, the one I pledge my life and love this day forward, I promise to love, respect, and honor you. I will listen to you, and be open and honest with you. I will be your trusted partner and stand by you through good times and bad. I promise this now and for all the days of my life."

Puck's voice hitched a little, he was nervous Rachel realized. Quinn smiled up at the man before her, her hands in his as tears ran down her face. The smile on her face said it all and her eyes spoke volumes of her emotional state. Quinn was completely and crazily in love and at this moment nothing else in the world matter beyond the deep brown eyes staring into her own.

"I used to be afraid of falling in love, of giving my heart could I trust a man to love me,to give to me all that I wanted to give to him?Noah, when I met you, I realized how much we could share have renewed my life:Today I join that life with yours."

Tears, Rachel could see actual tears in Puck's eyes. Reckless, womanizing Puck was completely humanized in this moment. It was at that moment that Rachel realized that his commitment, this lifetime promise, really did change things.

Rachel looked across the alter to her own true love and smiled. She watched as he removed a ring and handed it to Puck.

"Quinn Fabrey I give you this ring as a visible and constant symbol of my promise to be with you as long as I live."

Puck took the ring and slid it onto her long slim finger and she smiled radiantly back at him. The light reflected off the ring and Rachel was blinded by it for a minute. What was happening to her? She felt like she had no control over her own emotions.

"Noah Puckerman I give you this ring as a visible and constant symbol of my promise to be with you as long as I live."

She took the ring from her sister and slid it onto his finger as well smiling up at him through her long lashes

"By the powers vested in me by the State of Ohio I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss your bride" the priest said as a cheer rang up through the small church.

Puck swept his bride up into a breath taking kiss and Rachel felt herself tearing up again. She looked across the alter once more and Finn winked back at her, that crooked smile on his lips. I Love You Rach he mouthed in her direction and she smiled at him.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME, I GIVE TO YOU, MR AND MRS NOAH PUCKERMAN" The priest said in his booming voice.

Rachel's breath hitched in her throat, it really happened, Quinn and Puck had really just gotten married…

* * *

Finn slid his key in the door to their hotel room and pulled Rachel inside by her waist. It had been a long and grueling day making sure they were being the best attendants possible for the happy couple. But now Finn had one goal on his mind and that was to get that beautiful gown off his beautiful girlfriend and take her to bed. His lips came down on hers as her hands grabbed at his clothing. He could feel an urgent need in her, something he had not felt from her in a long time. Their relationship had fallen into a pattern and while it was just as amazing as ever for the last year they had been following the same routine. But tonight Rachel's kisses were hungry and her hands desperate. It was as if this wedding had lit some sort of passion deep within her and she could not wait to show it to him. He figured it was the mood of the day, it was a wedding after all and chicks seemed to get a little emotional at weddings. Rachel pushed him up against the door hard as her hands went to his shirt working her fingers against the row of buttons. Her lips never left his as she finally was able to pull the shirt from his broad shoulders. His fingers found the zipper on her gown and pulled it down resulting of the dress landing in a heap at her feet. He lifted her up by her hips, her legs wrapping around his waist. Her desire was turning him on so much and he was rock hard. The only thought in his mind right now was burying himself deep inside of her. They got halfway across the room before he put her down, removed his pants from his thin frame, yanked her panties down and bent her over a chair. Her hands gripped at the arm rests as Finn pulled her hips up in his direction and buried himself deep inside her from behind. She screamed out in pleasure as she felt his entire, familiar length slide into her. But just as quickly as he had entered her he pulled out and she whimpered in disapproval. He sat in the chair pulling her down on top of him, this worked much better due to their height difference. She rocked her hips hard against his lap as his mouth attacked her chest. She threw her head back her long hair brushing against his bare thighs. _OMG this is hot, she is amazing, I'm so fucking hard. Oh GOD_, _I never want this to end._ Finn put his hands strongly on her hips and pushed her off of him

"Finn, please, I need you" she whimpered softly.

"Oh believe me I know" he said lifting her up and setting her on the desk. He had every intention of screwing her on every flat surface in this hotels room. He held her hips as he pumped in and out of her, her lips were on his neck, her feet bounced off of the back of his thighs. One hand snaked down her body and went to her clit. Ever since they had been away he had noticed that Rachel had become more aware of her body and it drove him crazy when she touched herself. The sounds that would slip from her perfect mouth during their late night Skype sessions drove him crazy. And now watching her hand move between their bodies as his erection pumped in and out of her was so fucking sexy. He could tell she was getting close and he pulled out of her as she fell over the edge.

"What the heck Finn" she said her body shaking and convulsing against him.

"I'm not done with you yet" he smirked "And that would have done it for me"

She smiled at him as he pulled her from the desk and carried her to the bed

"Take me from behind" she pleaded as he plopped her onto the bed kindly obliging.

There was something so amazing about taking her this way but it was something they rarely did. She was screaming out in pleasure as he was kneeling behind her, one arm around her waist, sliding in and out of her with more force with each thrust. It barely took any time for them to fall over the edge together, her body clenching around his. They fell onto the bed side by side, out of breath and glistening with sweat.

"Oh my god, just really, wow" Rachel said softly

"Couldn't have said it better myself" Finn turned to look into her brown eyes.

"I love you Finn Husdon" she smiled at him

"And I love you" he brushed the hair off her forehead taking in her beautiful naked form in front of him "What has gotten into you?"

"I just wanted to show you how much I love you and how important you are to me" she smiled back to him.

"I've always known that babe. But that was amazing, you can show me anytime you want" he chuckled

She was laying facedown on the bed, her legs bend at the knee, her ankles crossed. He was laying on his side beside her, his hand ran up and down her side just enjoying being here with her. She looked exquisite like this, his Rachel only the way he could see her. They both just laid in their post coital glow.

"Finn" she said softly after a few minutes looking up at him.

He opened his eyes and looked into hers "Yah".

"That will be us someday, Right?" she questioned

"Of course Rachel. After you've taken the world by storm, conquered Broadway and won a bunch of Tony's just like you always wanted"

Rachel felt her heart drop "What if…" she trailed off.

"What if What?"

"What if I" she started why was this so hard to say. This was Finn, the boy who had won her heart at 16 and never gave it back. Why couldn't she just get the worlds out, what was she afraid of. But she knew, deep down what her issue was, she had been the one drilling career first. He looked at her, puzzled, waiting for her to continue.

"What if I don't want to wait" she finally said it.

"Don't be silly Rachel, your just feeling all romantic because of the wedding" he said

"What if I'm not" she said honestly

"Come on Rach, what about the life plan you've been telling me about it since we were 16 years old" he smiled

"Promise me Finn, promise me you will do it someday" she looked like she was going to cry.

"Your being serious" he said gently laying a hand on her back.

"I might have been wrong before" she said gently moving closer to his warm naked body.

"Wrong about what" he asked slightly concerned

"Maybe I can have it all, maybe life is better when diverges from the plan" she whispered.


	15. Ready for the Next

May 2016- 19 Months later

New York City

Rachel ran full force through the streets of NY, her flats making a soft thumping noise as she continued her hurried jog. She weaved in and out of people in her way on the crowded sidewalk and got a few dirty looks on the way. But she didn't have time for an afternoon stroll, she was far to excited and late to walk along at a leisurely pace, this was NY for gosh sakes wasn't everyone supposed to be in a hurry. She could not believe that she, Rachel Berry, was running late. She always had everything planned so just this didn't happen, she even had at least 2 alternate routes to every where she had to go in the city. It was really her fault though, she knew she had spent to much time socializing after graduation earlier this afternoon but it was so great to spend some time with everyone one last time. She could not believe that she was a college graduate, Rachel Berry had a Bachelor's Degree in Theater from New York University. It felt like only yesterday she was leaving Lima Ohio behind for the bright lights of New York City. The city that was now a true part of her, she was a New Yorker, this had been her home for 4 years. The last year had been one of the best of Rachel's life. As a senior she was able to pick the classes she wanted and really enjoyed them. Plus she was the understudy for a pretty significant role in an off Broadway play. She didn't get to work that often but it still meant big things for her. College had been an amazing whirlwind and though she missed Finn being here their long distance relationship was thriving. They knew exactly how to work around the space between them. Rachel stopped at a corner, breathing heavily as a stream of cars rolled lazily through. She was almost tempted to try and weave her way across the busy intersection but she knew that was almost guaranteed suicide. People didn't stop in New York, they would just plow you over.

While she stood there on that corner in NY she let her thoughts drift to Finn. He was graduating today as well with a Bachelor's in Sports Journalism and he already had job offers lined up. She was proud of her Finn, at 22 years old, he was well spoken, charismatic and handsome. The swell of the crowd at the corner pushed Rachel forward, bringing her back from her daydream and she started running again. She had to get uptown and quickly, her entire future was hanging in the balance. Rachel had learned one very important thing in her 4 years at NYC, you had to fight tooth and nail to make it in this City. In Lima she had a 1 in a million voice, she was star because she oozed talent. But here in the bright lights of New York, she was just another girl with a good voice. Small town girls from all over the country found their way to the promise of what New York can bring and that meant that she had to actually fight for roles she would have won hands down in Lima. She shouldn't complain, she had already had two good roles in off Broadway plays and was slowly making a name for herself in NY but honestly she thought this would have been a lot easier, she was after all Rachel Berry.

* * *

University Park, PA

"Congrats Man" Puck clapped Finn's back as he gave him a giant man hug.

Finn was standing in his dorm room for the last time. He could not believe that college was done, that he had a real degree, that he had done it. The last year had gone by so fast, it was the home stretch and the end of the long distance relationship he had been living in. He wanted to wake up each morning next to Rachel and go to sleep each night in her arms. He was so excited to get back to spending more time with her.

"Thanks Dude" Finn said turning to smile at his friend.

Quinn stood by Puck's side rubbing her swollen belly. Deep in his belly he felt a twang of regret when he saw Quinn. How amazing would it be for him and Rachel to be starting a family? He pushed the thought out of his mind, it was Rachel he was thinking about, she had to much living left to do before being bothered with babies and such.

"So now what?" Quinn asked in that soft voice that was so characteristic of her.

"New York, I have like four job interviews next week" Finn said rubbing his head just thinking about that. "Then home for a while."

"Who are you interviewing with?" Quinn asked.

Finn wasn't really sure that she was all that interested in his job prospects. After they got married Puck and Quinn started going to school part time so they could work in order to pay for their apartment in Columbus. Outwardly they were both said they were okay with this decision but Finn could see something in Quinn's eyes, regret, he was sure of it. He'd seen it before, all those years ago in the choir room when she realized Finn knew she had been lying to him about Beth and then later when she told Sam she wasn't following him out to California. It struck Finn a little because here he was wishing he had what they had and he wasn't sure either of them were completely happy with their decision. He didn't doubt that Quinn and Puck loved each other but maybe it was to early to play house. Maybe that was what was so calming about Rachel, she had her life plan mapped out, she knew what she wanted and that made it easier on him. Sure he would love to marry her but now was not a good time, she had made him see that. The sound of Puck clearing his throat broke into his thoughts.

"ESPN, Fox Sport, The NY Giants and 660 WFAN NY" Finn said realizing that both his friends were staring at him while he was having a revelation in his mind.

"Wow" Puck said and Finn could tell it was genuine shock.

"Yeah imagine me, with a real job" Finn laughed a little

"You deserve it" Quinn said touching his arm, her hand lingering just a minute to long.

_What was that? _Finn thought

* * *

NYC

Rachel stood at the doorway just trying to catch her breath. She had made it, thanks no doubt to her aggressive morning treadmill routine. She entered the small lobby and found the name she was looking for on the directory. Berry Weisler was a one of the most popular Broadway Producers right now and word on the street was he was working on an original number that would be full of fresh faces. When his secretary had called to set up a meeting Rachel had thought it was a prank call at first. Apparently, he had seen Rachel in some of her off Broadway numbers and rumor had it he frequented NYU student functions. Rachel had been very involved in extra curricula's, especially once Finn left New York. She found working on her craft made missing him a little easier. She jumped on the elevator and took it to the 16th floor. She could feel the butterflies in her belly, she was nervous, this could be the break she needed. The one that had been right outside her grasp for the last 4 years.

"Rachel Berry here to see Mr. Wiesler" she said matter of factly to the receptionist.

"He will be with you in 1 minute Ms. Berry, please sit"

After what felt like an eternity but was probably not much more than a couple of minutes Rachel was ushered into the deep cavernous office. The furniture was high end, the decorations had the distinct taste of being picked out by an interior designer. Behind the large mahogany desk sat the man who could make all of her dreams come true, well all but 1.

"Miss Berry your resume is impressive for somebody of your age who hails from the Midwest. It's not exactly the land of opportunity out there is it?"

"No sir, we have more cows than people in Lima" she said flashing him her brilliant smile.

"Yes well, I've seen you sing live Miss Berry and your voice is one in a million. I do believe you might have perfect pitch" he smiled back at her.

"Well thank you sir, that is a huge compliment coming from you"

"I'm developing a new show, a sort of high school Glee club underdogs type of thing"

Rachel almost fell over, it was like a play of her high school career, she could not believe this. She was listening with all ears.

"I would like you audition for my lead. I believe my character is much like you. A determined overachiever with one thing in mind, success."

"I would love an opportunity to show you what I can do" she beamed at him.

* * *

University Park, PA- 2 Days Later

Finn was packing the last of his stuff into his tiny car. He was really excited about getting to the city and spending some time with Rachel but first he was going to dinner with Puck and Quinn before they headed back to Ohio. He had had a really good weekend with the couple and it was nice to get to spend some quality time together. Plus there had been no other weird moments with Quinn. Maybe he had taken her friendly touch the wrong way, maybe he was freaking himself out for some reason. Now however it was time to get started with his adult life. A college graduate living in the big city with his beautiful, talented girlfriend who was destined to be a Broadway star.

"So where are you staying in the city?" Puck asked leaning against Finn's car.

"Thanks for the help with this bro, it was really nice of you" Finn said sarcastically.

"No problem" Puck smiled at him "Seriously though"

"Rachel found a cut little apartment in SoHo, her dad's agreed to pay the rent for a couple months until she finds work" he said looking at Puck.

"Pretty sweet deal. I'm amazed her Dad's are cool with you to shacking up together" Puck answered.

"We are not shacking up" he started " and they don't exactly know I will be living there."

"Oh" was all he got out before Quinn walked up.

"What are you boys talking about out here" she smiled at them.

"Finn here is going to be shacking up with Berry in the big City behind her Dad's backs" Finn was pretty sure Puck actually giggled a little.

"Shut up Puckerman and let's get this dinner going" Finn said getting in his car.

They stood under the large glowing streetlights in the parking lot of what had been Finn's favorite diner. He was going to miss this place, the food was really good and the little old couple that owned it were so sweet.

"It was nice to see you guys again. You will have to come down to NY once we get settled" Finn was telling the two of them.

"Of course and congrats again on the Graduation" Quinn said nicely

"Thanks" Finn smiled his lopsided smile.

Puck said his goodbye as he went to get the car for his pregnant wife. As he pulled it up Quinn pulled Finn into a large hug. And then it happened, he was pretty sure she grabbed his ass a little. Oh, she defiantly grabbed his ass. He backed up and looked down at her she looked innocently up at him

"What?"

"What are you doing?" he whispered sternly.

"Saying goodbye silly" she put her hand on his hip. He backed up shocked, she was coming onto him. Finn was not the brightest crayon in the box but he could see it.

"Quinn, what the heck. Your married, your pregnant" he gasped out.

Puck honked the horn behind him

"I'm sorry. I just… I'm 22 and look at me. I'm married and pregnant, that's what I am. I put my dreams on hold. But you, your future is so bright."

"This isn't high school Quinn, you don't get to mess around with people's lives. You got married, you made that decision and now your having a baby. You made your choices" Finn growled

"I messed up in high school Finn, I think you were really the one" she batted her eyes at him.

"Get in the car with your husband" Finn said sternly.

As he watched them drive away he thanked his lucky stars for his Rachel and for her knowing what she wanted out of life.

* * *

-NYC-

Rachel ran into Finn's arms before he was even out of the car all the way. He spun her around and kissed her gently

"I've missed you so much" he said into her ear.

"Every minute" she responded.

"How did your meeting go with that Broadway guy" he asked taking her hand

"He want's me to audition" she beamed at him

"That is awesome babe, you will have to tell me all about it" he said with true interest.

"But first, Come, see our place" she was now dragging him to the building behind them.

The loft was modern and updated with an open floor plan, large windows and wood floors. The furniture on the other hand was a mish mosh of assorted pieces Rachel's Dad's had found around the city. It was amazing and Finn could not believe they were really living here. This was their first place, their place, the two of them.

"Do you like it?" she asked softly

"I love it and I love you" he said


	16. Moving Forward

A/N: I apologize if this chapter is a little weak, I've been having some writer's block. I know where I want this story to go but having some issues on how I want to get it there!

Comments are always appreciated.

* * *

August 2016

The soft jingling of his phone woke Finn from a restful slumber. He glanced out at the clock, 7:32 AM as he reached out for the phone with his right hand groping to find it in the dark. Rachel was splayed out on top of him and he didn't want to disturb his sleeping angel. They had been out pretty late last night enjoying a Broadway play and then went to this little wine bar near Times Square that had some of the best New York Wines you could buy. It had been over 2 months since he had moved to the City with Rachel and they had been enjoying their time together. On the downside they were quickly blowing through their savings accounts and both knew they needed to find work soon. Rachel hadn't heard anything from Steiner after her interview with him but she was trying to stay positive about it. The show was just in early development and it might be a while until they announce an actual casting. Finn had gone on at least 10 interviews but had not received any offers yet. He was growing discouraged but Rachel tried to keep his spirits up by pointing out that he was still fresh to the game, he was barely out of college and had no real experience, but his time would come. He used his thumb to hit the answer button on his touch screen and whispered into the phone

"Hello?"

"May I speak to Finn Hudson please?" a soft female voice rang in his ear

"This is he" he said as Rachel stirred beside him.

"Mr. Hudson this is Marnie Anderson with MSG Sports Broadcasting. I received your resume from a friend of mine at ESPN" she began in his ear "I was hoping you would be interested in interviewing with us."

"Yes, that would be awesome, great, it would be great" Finn tried to correct himself, he didn't want to sound like an excited school boy. He was an adult now!

"Would Monday morning at say 9:30 be good for you?" she asked

"Yeah that would be good" he said back to her

"Wonderful. I will see you Monday at 9:30" she said before the line went dead.

Finn laid his head back against his pillow, still holding his phone in his hand. He had to land this interview, MSG was a great network to work for and he needed this job. He wanted to be able to support Rachel so she was able to keep pursuing her dream. He looked down at the beautiful woman in his arms and knew he had to do it. For her!

"Who was that babe" he heard her soft voice ask

"It was MSG, they offered me an interview" he said just above a whisper.

"Oh baby, that's great" she stretched out in the bed yawning.

"I have to get this job Rach" he said as she curled into him

"You will do great" Rachel said to him feeling her eyes close again.

"No I HAVE to get this job. I need to be able to support you so you can follow your dreams" he said feeling sleep come back to him as well.

"Finn, we are in this together, we support each other" she yawned again.

"I know baby" his voice was barely a whisper as he drifted back into a dreamless slumber.

* * *

~3 Days Later~

Finn's phone rang out against the quiet roar of the underground station. He reached into his pocket and answered it. Rachel stood beside him, watching him, shifting from foot to foot. Her feet hurt, he knew it, just by the way she was standing. The idea of wearing uncomfortable shoes just for their looks was so bizarre to him. Finn finished his conversation looked down at him beautiful girl and almost shouted out

"I got it!"

"WHAT? AHHH" Rachel said in excitement as she began jumping up and down.

Finn picked up Rachel and spun her around. He didn't care that people were staring at him as they waited together for the subway. There were a lot stranger thing's going on in the New York City subway system. She leaned up and gave him a quick peck on his cheek. He was beaming, a literal ear to ear smile.

"Baby I'm so happy for you" she squeaked out

"For us baby" he said back to her finally putting her down.

He had just received the call that he had landed the job. This was the beginning of a brand new life for them, a new future. Finn was still in shock, he had only interviewed two days ago and was shocked he had made a strong enough impression to get the job.

"We need to celebrate" she said proudly to him

"What did you have in mind?" he asked smirking down at her

"Dinner and a show? She asked him

"Hmm" he said. That seemed to be their usual night out formula, he was pretty sure he had seen every show on Broadway at least once.

"Hmm what?" she asked him giving him her little pout.

"How about we stay in, get comfy, share a bottle of wine?" he asked wrapping his arms around her from behind as the train roared into the station.

"Mmm that sounds very nice" she said leaning back into him and reaching back to take him hand.

"Yeah I thought you would like that" he answered and she could hear the smile in his voice.

Finn stretched out in the bed, his feet hitting the bottom of the mattress. He was naked, relaxed and loving life. Rachel sat cross legged in front of him, the white sheet draped across her nude form. She sipped from her wine glass before reaching over to return it to her bedside table. As she moved the blanket slipped down and Finn got a full shot of her bare breast.

"You are beautiful" he said smiling up at her

She laughed and smiled back at him starting to speak when they were interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Who the heck is that" Finn questioned moving to the side of the bed.

Rachel shrugged at Finn as he playfully yanked the sheet from her naked form as he rose to his feet wrapping it around his waist. She grabbed the comforter and stuck her tongue out at him. She reached out and grabbed the sheet pulling him towards her and giving him a big wet kiss as the knocking on the door continued. Finn thought for a minute about just letting whoever it was leave as his body instantly reacted to her.

"Go" she said "but hurry back"

"Will do" he said turning on his heel to leave the room.

Finn hummed to himself as he walked through the dark apartment, the only illumination was the streetlight through the large window in the living area. Holding the sheet with one hand he pulled the door open expecting either Dave, whom Finn had reconnected with since being back in the city, or one of Rachel's many theater friends. As the door slid open Finn's mouth fell open

"Surprise" he heard a familiar voice say.

This was bad…

The second Rachel heard the voice her breath hitched in her throat.

"Oh no…. no no no" she said to herself scrambling to her feet.

She stumbled around the dimly lit room gathering her clothing and throwing it on herself in a haste. Pawing at her hair as she pulled the bedroom door open and stumbled out into living room and into the sight of her glaring fathers.

"Dad, Daddy…. What are you doing here?" she managed to get out.

"Maybe you should get dressed Finn" her Dad said sternly to him.

Finn quickly ran towards the room, happy to get away from the prying eyes of his girlfriends fathers. Father's who didn't know that Rachel and he were living together.

"So this is how your spending your time?" Finn could hear her Dad turn his questions towards his daughter.

"Dad…." she sighed and then Rachel made the most adult decision of her life, she stopped lying to them "Finn and I live together."

"WHAT" her Daddy finally said something "That is unacceptable Rachel"

"How do you figure, we've been together for almost 6 years, he loves me. I love him" Rachel pleaded

"It is not okay for you to be living with your boyfriend at 22. What if you get pregnant Rachel?" her Daddy said.

"You are supposed to be following your dreams down here Rachel. Not playing house with your boyfriend on our dime" her Dad said.

"I AM following my dreams" she said starting to cry.

"This is why you haven't gotten a play yet Rachel, because you have to much of a distraction here. You need to focus on your career, it's what you have been working for your entire life" her Daddy said "I think Finn should move out"

"NO" Rachel said sternly, standing up for what she really wanted for once.

Rachel loved her father's and always thought them being hard on her was what made her a stronger person, a stronger artist. For the first time in her life however they didn't see eye to eye. She knew they had done a lot for her, but she was 22 years old, she had to make her own adult decisions.

"My career has always been important to me and it isn't any less now. But Finn is also important in my life, he is my everything" she pleaded with them.

"Rachel, you are relying to much on this boy" her Daddy said.

"This boy? It's Finn Daddy, not some guy off the street" Rachel was yelling now.

"Well then don't expect anymore help from us" her Dad said.

"Dad please" tears were streaming down her face now.

"You want to be an adult Rachel? You want to live with your boyfriend, then you should do it all on your own. Be an adult Rachel" her Daddy said.

And with that her father's turned and left. Finn emerged from the bedroom and wrapped his arms around her from behind. He was wearing boxers and a white tee shirt with the blanket still wrapped around his body.

"I'm so sorry Rachel"

"This is NOT your fault Finn. I want you here with me, I want this life, our life, what it is right now" she turned to him.

"But you and your Dad's are so close, I don't want to come between that" he said

"You haven't" she said softly

"What happened tonight though" he started but she cut him off.

"Was my fault. I should have been honest with them from the beginning. I want to be with you Finn, just like this. At some point you have to branch out and build your own family Finn" she smiled at him.

"I love you so much Rachel, and I promise I will help you make this right with your Dad's"

She grabbed his hand and lead him to the couch and they sat down beside each other the good mood of the night forever gone. Her heart was in pain, she had never expected her Dad's to react that strongly. To tell her she had to do it all on her own. But she knew she did the right thing, standing up to her relationship with Finn because her love for him was so strong. And she knew now that she could love Finn and have a successful career as well. She didn't have to pick, nobody should make her chose, not even her Dad's. Rachel grabbed Finn's hand and the words were out of her mouth before she even had time to process them, because they were from the heart.

"Marry Me Finn"


	17. Bliss

A/N: This is the link to Rachel's ring- .com/images/pictures/platinum_diamond_ring_r0237_

* * *

Finn's mouth fell open, had he really just heard what he thought he heard? Had Rachel really just asked him to marry her? Rachel Berry who had her whole life planned out with her career reigning supreme?

"What?" was all he could manage to get out. _Smooth Hudson, Real Smooth_

The women of his dreams just asked him to be her husband and all he could do was sit there with his mouth hanging open and say what. He was in literal shock, he thought that marriage was the last thing in the world she wanted right now. Heck if he had thought this was something she wanted he would have asked her a long time ago. They had been together for 6 years, most people who have had the relationship they had were married with children by now. But he waited, waited to make the move, to pop the question because he did not want to scare her off. The last thing he wanted was to loose her again.

His eyes focused on her and he could see the fear in her eyes. She was scared of his response, scared that he would say no.

"Marry Me?" she said again with a lot less confidence than before.

"Are you sure?" he said

"Well that's what I'm asking you isn't it?"

"Yeah" he said "But what about your career?"

"My career?" she asked softly "What career?"

"Rach I know things have been hard for you, that you thought this City was going to be a lot easier on you. But you can't give up just because the road is rougher than you expected it to be" he said to her.

"Finn I didn't ask you to marry me because I'm feeling bad about the state of my career, non existent as it is, I asked you to marry me because I realized something. I would rather live with you in a cardboard box eating out of a dumpster than be alone and a star. Life is a series of journeys Finn and sometimes they don't all run concurrently. My career might now be going the way I had always dreamed but my life with you is better than I could ever imagine."

She pushed the hair behind her ear and looked up at him. This was certainly not the way she envisioned her proposal but this felt more real than any fairytale story she dreamed of. Rachel Berry had grown up and in doing so she realized that sometimes in life you had to be willing to ebb and weave off course a little.

"Rachel I don't want you to make sacrifices for me. I don't want you to wake up 10 years from now and realize that you gave up all your dreams for me and hate me for it" Finn said honestly

"I could never hate you Finn" she started "And I'm not doing this for any reason other than I love you more than anything else in my life and I always will."

"Well then" Finn said and rose to his feet.

Rachel looked up at him shocked, what was he doing, had she scared him off. Finn walked into their bedroom and she heard him fumbling around. She wanted to following him she couldn't get herself to actually move. Finn came out of the bedroom and walked towards her coming to a rest kneeling before her.

"This was certainly not how I ever envisioned doing this because you deserve so much more than boxers and a tee shirt" he laughed "but I have always loved you Rachel, before I ever knew it. When you came into my life it was like a hurricane of emotions I have never felt before. You brought out the very best in me Rachel, you encouraged me to be who I really was not who I thought I should be. You brought out the music in my heart, in my soul. You are truly the only women for me, my soul mate, my partner, my co-captain in life. Rachel Barbara Berry will you do me the huge honor of becoming my wife"

Rachel's eyes teared up before he had even finished speaking and she gasped as he pulled out the most beautiful princess cut diamond she had ever seen. It was an antique setting and completely unique just like her.

"Yes Finn. I would love nothing more than to marry you" she exclaimed her hand was shaking as he slid the ring onto her finger.

She held her hand out into the moonlight and it reflected off the beautiful ring.

"It's bigger than Betty Monroe had" she laughed making a reference to their old Glee days.

Finn laughed at his fiancée. _Fiancée, wow that's weird. Yet it feels so right. _She wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him towards the couch she was sitting on. She put her hands on the side of his face and planted the most passionate of kisses on him full familiar lips.

"This ring is stunning Finn" she said looking at it again, a large smile on her lips.

"When I saw it I knew it was perfect for you. I've been carrying it around for 2 years" he laughed.

"Oh Finn" she smiled "you are adorable".

"And you are drop dead gorgeous future Mrs. Hudson."

* * *

Rachel had been walking around staring at her ring for a week. She could not believe that they were engaged, that she was really going to become Finn's wife. She was in literal bliss, she had never felt so happy or so complete in her entire life. Even though it had been a week since their engagement they had not told anyone from back home yet except for Kurt who they had swore to silence. Rachel wanted to talk to her Dad's before they spilled the news and Finn thought it was not fair to tell Carole and Burt before he dad's knew. Rachel was in no rush to call her Dad's though, they had overreacted to what had happened and she had to let herself settle a bit before she could have an adult conversation with them. Which was exactly what she wanted to do since she wanted them to see her as an adult now, she was no longer the whiny, spoiled 16 years old girl who insisted on everything being her way.

"So when is the wedding going to be" Rachel's friend Lauren said as they walked side by side down Broadway. Rachel had met Lauren at NYU and they had become instant friends, which was weird for her since she never had many girl friends before but Lauren and her were on the same level in so many ways.

"I was thinking next fall maybe, I want an Autumn wedding, when the leaves are changing and the air is crisp" she said smiling up at her friend.

"You are going to be a beautiful bride" she said "you're a lucky women, Finn is a great guy."

"I know" Rachel couldn't help but think of her fiancée.

Finn had started his job on Tuesday so she had found herself to have a lot of free time on her hands now. She missed him while he was at work so she tended to just hit the streets in the city and she want she could get into, more or less.

"Have you been on any auditions?" Lauren asked her as they got to their favorite coffee shop

"Not in a couple of weeks. It seems that there isn't a big need for short brunettes with big voices in this city" Rachel sighed.

It still bothered her that she was having such an issue finding work in the City. She had been such a commodity of sorts in Lima but here she was just 1 in thousands. Small town girls looking for big dreams in the big city. Her father's words still stung her a bit as well because it bothered her that they thought she wasn't trying to fulfill her dreams. It wasn't that she wasn't trying, she was busting her ass.

"Don't worry Rach, you are an amazing talent, you will find something perfect for you" Lauren said honestly as they sat down to eat.

* * *

"So I hear your making the big plunge" Dave said to Finn as they ate lunch together. Once a week Dave and Finn would do lunch together just the two of them. Finn was taking the subway out to Brooklyn but with the new job Dave came down to meet him in Manhatten. When Finn moved back into the city he had looked Dave up and was happy to see he was still living here. Dave had been a music theory major and was working as a teacher at a high school in Brooklyn. Though neither of them playing full time in a band anymore on occasion they would still hook up for jam sessions.

"Yeah it's about time huh" Finn laughed.

"Yeah man, you've been together for like 15 years or some shit right" he laughed back shoving his fork into his mouth.

"6, you ass" Finn threw a roll at him.

"So how's the job" Dave asked changing the subject

"It's awesome so far. I love being on air, it is exhilarating"

"And how is Rach doing" Dave asked.

"She's having some issues landing a role" Finn said feeling his heart fall a little.

"She is disgustingly talented bro, she will find something. This city is tough, it chews you up and spits you out. People don't realize that, they think this is the answer to their dreams, but really this city will beat the crap out of you before it gives you anything in return" Dave said honestly. He knew after all, he came to the City to become a rock star, not a teacher.

"I know that Dave, I'm just worried she doesn't."

"Finn, she will be okay. Rachel has grown up so much in the past 4 years, I can only imagine how much her outlook on life has changed" Dave said.

"I just don't want her to marry me and then regret chasing her dreams" Finn said.

"Finn, are you effin kidding me. You level her, ground her, you have made her a better person as I'm sure she has made you" Dave started "this isn't the 16 year old girl you dated in high school, she's the 22 year old women with life experience now. And while I've only known Rachel for a short time I know she is a women who goes after what she wants and that is you Finn Hudson."

Finn smiled at him "So how about those Mets?"

* * *

Rachel was walking back towards their apartment when her cell phone went off .

"Hello"

"Rachel Berry?"

"This is her" she said running across a busy street

"This is Nancy Ellmean at Mr. Wiesler's office. I would like to meet with you as soon as possible" she said

"Well I'm actually in the neighborhood, would now be okay" she felt giddy

"Now would be great"

"I can be there in about 10 minutes" Rachel said turning around and heading in the other direction.

Rachel sat in his office kneading her skirt between her fingers. She normally didn't get nervous, Rachel Berry wasn't scared of much, but this scared her. Was her dream really about to come true.

"Rachel" she heard the thick accented voice before she saw him.

She rose to shake his hand and he motioned for her to sit again.

"I'm going to get right to the point. You are my star Rachel, I knew it when I first met you. My show has gotten the green light and I want you on my stage" he began "There is one catch however"

"Okay" Rachel said wondering what could be the catch.

"They want to see the audience response to the show so we were picked up for a year contract in London"

"England" Rachel said in shock, this was not happening, just when she was moving forward with her life.

"This is a role of a lifetime Ms. Berry" he reminded her "By the time this show hit's the states it will be a sensation, you will be a sensation"

"Can I have some time?" she asked softly

"Of course but remember my dear, this is an expiring offer. We start rehearsals in 1 month and I need my star" he said rising to indicate the meeting was over.

* * *

Rachel was sitting on the edge of her seat watching the clock, waiting for Finn to get home from work. She could not believe she had just been offered the role of a lifetime, half a world away on the other side of the globe. She heard the familiar click of the lock and Finn entered. He was wearing a navy blue suit and looked amazing. She smiled at him

"How was your day?"

"Amazing. This job makes me feel alive" he smiled sitting next to her "How was your day."

"Well that's what I wanted to talk to you about" she said softly

"Okay, what's up?"

"I got offered the role for "Glee" she said softly

"BABY that's amazing" he said loudly "I'm so proud of you"

She just looked at him

"What's wrong?" he asked

"It's opening in London…." she said softly

He froze "England?"

"Yeah" she could feel the tears coming to her eyes

"Well, I always wanted to see England"

"Finn, we can't move to England" the tears were streaming down her face now

"Why not?"

"Our life is here, your job" she started

"Is just a job Rach" he said

"No baby, you love this job. You've worked very hard to get it"

"As have you" he said to her taking her hand and looking at the diamond on her finger "I go where you go"

"I can't ask you to do that Finn" she choked out

"You don't have to ask" he swirled the ring around her finger "Take the role Rach"

"If I take the role Finn, I'm going alone" she finally responded

"What do you mean" he tried to catch her eye

"You have to stay here Finn. You are not giving up your dream for mine again. Remember what happened to us last time you did that?"

"Rachel" he started

"No Finn, I'm serious about this" tears streamed down her face

Finn sighed

"Take the role Rachel"

"But what about us?" she squeaked out

"What about us? We spent 3 years apart, what's one more?"

Finn tried his hardest to be strong but inside he was breaking. This wasn't a 4 hour separation, this was a world apart. But he couldn't let her pass it up, it couldn't have it on his conscience.


	18. New Directions

A/N: Thanks for all the great reviews. It makes writing this story so much better. You guys rock my world!

We are in the homestretch now guys, prob only a few chapters left.

* * *

~2 Weeks Later~

Rachel sat in the taxi that was taking her to airport, taking her away from New York and Finn. Their relationship had been rocky for the past couple weeks, Finn had sort of shut down on her. He didn't want to talk about the future or London, heck he didn't want to talk about much of anything. It was like they were two stranger passing in the dark. Finn had actually passed on making love to her, Finn never passed on making love to her. She kept telling him that she didn't have to go but he told her she had to make the right decision for her. What the heck did that mean anyway? Rachel almost lost it when he told her he wasn't going to the airport with her to see her off, something about having to work and not being able to miss it. She had been hurt and furious and when she had left their small apartment this morning she had left her ring behind, because she didn't feel it was fair to take it. She didn't even know where their relationship stood at this point, were they together, were they not?

Tears filled her eyes as the taxi took her closer to her uncertain future and away from her well fought for past. Her past was filled with heartbreak, blood, sweat and tears. London was full of opportunity for her, full of promise for the career she had been dreaming of her entire life. She should feel happy, she should be excited, she should feel something other than like she had a giant hole in her chest, that she was making the biggest mistake of her life. After she told him about London and he told her to take the role she had, but she wasn't even sure why she had. She wasn't even sure she wanted it at this point. Why was she doing this? Why was she moving half way across the world to prove herself? She was Rachel fucking Berry for christ sakes, a star in her own rights. She was crazy talented, had a college degree in music theory and perfect pitch. She had been looking at this all wrong. Right now she was the small town girl from Lima, Ohio who had let the big bad city of New York beat her and now she was running away to chase a dream she wasn't even sure was hers anymore. What exactly did being a star mean? Having the world love her, why was that so important? Who was this person? This wasn't the Rachel Berry the women, she had reverted back to Rachel Berry the girl. The scared teenager who lived for stardom because she had nothing in her own life worthwhile. But Finn Hudson had changed her, time had changed her and most importantly she had changed herself. She had grown, experienced real life, struggled, lived. She had so much here, so much that she had fought tooth and nail for, she was going about it all wrong, she wasn't desperate for a role, they were desperate for her they just didn't know it yet. For the first time in her life she saw her life with clarity, she felt completely real unabashed emotions. What good is being a star when you are alone, what the heck did London, England have for her other than a stinking job. That's all it was…. A JOB! But here in New York she had so much more, she had a life, friendship, family and more importantly love. Why run away from all that for a job when if she waited she could really have it all.

"STOP" Rachel yelled a little to dramatically as the cabbie slammed on the breaks jerking her forward

"What is it lady?" he asked a little angrily.

"I'm sorry, can you take me back downtown?" she pleaded with him

The cabbie sighed and caught her eyes in the rearview mirror "Fine."

* * *

Finn sat behind the desk at the station waiting to go on air for his morning sports broadcast. He looked at his watch and sighed. Rachel's plane left in 20 minutes. He knew he had been a complete jerk the past two weeks but he couldn't let her make this decision based on him. She had to decide on her own. That's why he had encouraged her to go in the first place, because if she stayed, if she gave up the role, it had to be a decision completely of her own. And that's why she had been so right when she told him he had to stay in NY as well, because he did love his life here and his job, following her halfway across the world was not something that would benefit him, and he knew that. He had already messed up their relationship once, he knew what it felt like to be trapped in somebody else's dreams, he had left once himself, not because he didn't love her but because he was unhappy. But deep down he didn't want her to leave and he could not deal with another long distance relationship, it was hard enough being a few hours away during their college years. They had already spent 3 years dealing with weekend trips, Skype sessions and loneliness. At some point they had to move forward, he wanted to be domestic, be together, be enough for her. He loved her to much to deny her of anything in life and she had been working her ass off for the past 4 years to achieve her dreams. He was happy for her, for this role of a lifetime as she called it but he wished things were different. He was pretty sure that this time their fairytale would not work out the way they had planned. It was shit or get off the pot time.

* * *

"We are on in 5 Finn" his director said to him drawing him out of his thoughts.

"Ms. Berry, I cannot let you go in there, Mr. Weisler is in the middle of a very important meeting. Can I have him call you?" The secretary told her standing in front of the door.

"Nope this cannot wait" Rachel said pushing past her into the lush office

Mr. Weisler looked up shocked from his conference call "Rachel, what are you doing here, you should be on a plane to London" he said forgetting about whoever was on the phone.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about sir" she began "I came here today to decline the role. I did not think about it fully when I accepted it."

"Are you serious, pre production starts on Monday" he said angrily "you are my star."

"I understand that sir and I'm fully grateful for the opportunity. But my life is here, everything I've worked for is here and moving to London is not something I can do right now" she said honestly to him

"You are missing out on a golden opportunity, this is the role of a lifetime. A role I wrote with you in mind Ms. Berry" he stood to plead his point.

"I understand that Sir but I've thought about this, about my life, and I think it's time for my life to follow a different path" she said honestly.

"You are meant to be a star Rachel Berry, your name in lights, are you willing to give up your chance to break into the business"

"Rachel Berry was destined to be a big Broadway star but Rachel Hudson, she has other plans" she said

"Who the heck is Rachel Hudson" he asked confused

"She is my future sir"

"Well Ms. Berry is this what you really want then I must respect your decision" he said as he watched his star leave the room.

* * *

Finn sat in his lonely apartment twirling the ring she had left behind on his pinky. He sipped from his beer finishing the can and throwing it into the sink. It clanged loudly in the silence as it crashed into the sink. How had they come to this, they were Finn and Rachel, Rachel and Finn, the two kids with an epic love and yet they just couldn't seem to get it together. When he came home from work to find her ring on the table he knew she had made her decision, her career would always trump him he guessed and he couldn't blame her. He knew exactly who Rachel Berry was from the very beginning of their relationship and he loved her for her dedication, her spark. He picked up the note scribbled in her distinctive, cursive handwriting reading it again for what had to be the 100th time.

_I'm Sorry Finn._

_For all the heartbreak I've caused you._

_I don't know what the future holds for us now._

_Or where we will go from here,_

_But I want you to know that I will always love you._

_I wish we could have said goodbye but I understand your absence._

_Take care my love, _

_Until we meet again!_

_Rachel_

Tears formed in Finns eyes as he put his head down on their breakfast bar. Why was life so tough for them, how come they could not just get together and be happy. Why was it always a fight for him and Rachel? He put the ring down on top of the note and let himself cry, a good hard heartfelt cry. He cried for the past they had fought so hard for and the future that should have been theirs to conquer, together.

Finn shot up suddenly, he swore he heard sound of a key in the lock. _Great, now I'm going crazy and hearing phantom key turns._ Then he heard it again, this time the lock clicked open and he knew he did not imagine that. The door slid open and there she was, his love, standing in the doorway.

"Rachel?" he questioned

"Hi Finn" she said so simply coming into the room and throwing her bag onto the floor.

"What are you doing here?" he asked in shock

"I live here silly" she said approaching him.

"What about London?" he asked. _Was he dreaming? Drunk? Insane?_

"Who needs London when you have New York" she said softly

"But the role" he started

She walked up to where he was sitting and put her hands on either side of his face

"It's a job Finn, it's always been a job. But I want something else from my life now, something bigger than Broadway, I want a family, happiness, love. I want you by my side no matter what, I'm not pushing you away anymore" she said looking into his eyes.

"But your dreams Rachel" he started.

"Were Rachel Berry's dreams, but Rachel Hudson, she has different dreams. I have this huge talent and I always planned on using it to make myself a star, to benefit myself. I've been selfish Finn, my whole life I've followed a dream that was simply there to benefit myself and I would do anything to achieve it. I've pushed people around and away trying to make myself a star. But why Finn, so I can be popular, so I can have lots of money, have recognition for my talents? I already have that, I have friends who are real and liked me when I was that obnoxious teenager, I have parents who support me, I have you, the love of my life."

He smiled at her but she wasn't done yet

"I like our life here in New York Finn, I like our crappy walk up apartment, I like being just another person in the big city, I like this journey we are sharing together."

"What's changed Rachel?" he asked honestly

"I realized something very important Finn, I'm happy with my life, I'm content. There is one thing I want in my life, you. I'm sorry I left Finn especially since coming back was so easy"

"But what about your career?" he asked

"I have something amazing in mind Finn, I'm going to change the world!" she laughed

"Your not going to tell me are you"

"All in good time my love" she smiled at him "May I have my ring back?"

She held out her finger in his direction and he slipped the ring back on her finger

"Rachel Berry, does that mean you still want to marry me?"

"Finn Hudson, that is the only thing I know in my life" she laughed.


	19. Faithfully

A/N: Second to last chapter! Hope you enjoy.

Thanks for all the wonderful comments and support guys!

* * *

December 2024- 8 Years Later

The morning sunlight gleamed in through the windows of the large loft that had been her home for that last 5 years. Rachel stood naked in front of the full length mirror in her large bedroom staring at herself. She was looking for an imperfection, a hint of time, but couldn't find anything. She looked just as she had yesterday and the day before and the day before that. But today wasn't like the other's, today she was turning 30 years old. Her twenties were over, the chaos that ensued was all history. 30, wow, where had time gone.

_I think I'll take a moment, celebrate my age_

_The ending of an era and the turning of a page_

_Now it's time to focus in on where I go from here_

_Lord have mercy on my next thirty years_

Sang softly to herself as she grabbed her robe from the end of her bed. She wasn't a big country music fan but this song seemed to fit her feelings of the past decade pretty well. Where could she possibly go from here, she had done so much, experienced so much already.

_Hey my next thirty years I'm gonna have some fun_

_Try to forget about all the crazy things I've done_

_Maybe now I've conquered all my adolescent fears_

_And I'll do it better in my next thirty years_

She was so enwrapped in her personal serenade that she did not notice Finn leaning against the door frame watching her. A towel was slung across his hips, his skin still moist from his shower. He knew that he should be getting ready for work but he was drawn into watching his wife's private concert.

_My next thirty years I'm gonna settle all the scores_

_Cry a little less, laugh a little more_

_Find a world of happiness without the hate and fear_

_Figure out just what I'm doing here_

_In my next thirty years_

Rachel spun around when she felt his eyes on her. After such a long time together she could sense when he was in the room before she even saw him. She smiled at him as he came into the room. Rachel had been afraid of 30 when she thought about it in theory but after Finn turned 30 and nothing changed she realized 30 was just a number.

_Oh my next thirty years, I'm gonna watch my weight_

_Eat a few more salads and not stay up so late_

_Drink a little lemonade and not so many beers_

_Maybe I'll remember my next thirty years_

His voice filled out the next verse and she giggled. It fit him quite well, except for the watching weigh part, Finn looked just as amazing now as he had at 20. If fact she was pretty sure he looked even better.

_My next thirty years will be the best years of my life_

_Raise a little family and hang out with my love_

_Spend precious moments with the ones that I hold dear_

_Make up for lost time here, in my next thirty years_

_In my next thirty years_

She pulled her robe up over her shoulders and wrapped it around her waist. She thought she would feel different, old, but she didn't. She felt like herself. She looked at Finn and smiled at him.

"Good Morning" she said softly to him with a smile on her face.

"Happy Birthday Baby" he said coming towards her for a hug.

He smiled the crooked half smile at her and she felt the familiar butterflies, even after 15 years he still could make her turn to jelly with just one look.

"So don't forget your big birthday bash is tonight" he said leaning down and kissing her on the forehead "So no working late."

"Got it" she said smiling up at him

He walked over to her scooping her up in a giant bear hug. He brought his lips down tenderly on hers and gave her a searing kiss. Nothing in the world was better than kissing Finn Hudson. She grabbed the towel and gave it a gentle hug. It slid down his legs and landed in a heap at his feet.

"Ooops" she smiled devilishly.

"We are going to be late for work" he told her walking her backwards to the bed.

He was already hard, heck he had been hard just watching her sing, naked in front of the mirror.

"Screw work" she laughed as he collapsed on top of her on the bed.

* * *

The sun was just setting behind the New York skyline as Finn got home from work. He was so excited for tonight, for his wife's big birthday celebration, even more so because he had a big surprise planned for her. He had managed to get all of their old friends from Glee to come to the city for the night. He practically took the stairs two at a time holding tightly to the roses in his fist. The last decade had been a rollercoaster but he wouldn't give up the ride for anything. Finn was shocked to open the door and find Rachel dressed and waiting for him. She usually worked well into the evening, as did he many nights, but the time they put into their careers was well worth it. They had come pretty far in their careers for their young ages and it was thanks to the hard work they put into it. At 30 years old Finn had his own show on Fox Sports as well as having a regular seat on Sports Center, among other shows. And his Rachel, was an official big shot, a star in her own right. She was the Superintendent of Fine Arts for the New York County School District as well as being the Fine Arts Liaison to the New York State Department of Education. She had been Superintendent for 2 years now and loved her job. Her musical programs were being used statewide and she had changed the way the arts were dealt with in schools around the city. She had created opportunity for kids to get to express themselves and she was pretty sure she given some of these kids opportunity they needed to succeed. She had also set up extensive Scholarships for kids pursuing a career in an art field. She was a big thing in the theater district as well having dove back into musical theater after she got her Master's in Education at NYU. She didn't act full time but she still had many "guest" appearances over the past 5 years. Everyone who was anyone in Musical Theater knew who Rachel Berry-Hudson was. Then last year her one of the most amazing moments of her life happened. She won a Grammy Award as the MusiCares Person of the Year for a musician who has made an outstanding contribution to music. Rachel could close her eyes and still see that day. The exhilaration of walking the red carpet with Finn, the nerves as she sat in the audience surrounded by musical heavy weights and the feeling of pure joy when they called her name. Rachel Berry had a fucking Grammy, how awesome was that.

Finn walked across the living room and kissed his wife handing her the roses.

"Give me like 10 minutes" he said walking into the bedroom.

Rachel was giddy with excitement, she was ready to celebrate this next huge step in her life.

Rachel walked into the restaurant on Finn's arm. He had reserved the banquet room in one of New York's poshest restaurants. As they walked through the door Rachel screamed in excitement. In the room filled with their New York friends she saw the faces of some of her oldest friends.

"My Gleeks" she yelled out leaving Finn's side to meet her friends in a giant bear hug.

The night was more amazing than Rachel could have ever imagined. Everyone that she could ever have wanted was in this one room. It had been years since they had all spent time together as one big group. Rachel worked the room taking time to speak to all of them and find out what they were doing with their lives. Artie and Tina had reconciled after college, they were married and living in Detroit. Santana was living out west working as a TV actress, she had not landed a major role but was happy. Britney was running a dance school in Columbus. Mercedes was living in Atlanta and had 2 best selling records. Rachel had been so proud when she first heard that familiar voice on the radio three years ago and admitted to Mercedes that she had bought multiple copies of her records. Kurt was in town from LA and working in Fashion Merchandising, The Hudsons and Kurt spent a lot of time together so it wasn't a shock for her to see him and his handsome new boyfriend at her party. The only person missing was Puck who Finn had informed her though it would be awkward to come since he and Quinn had recently divorced. Rachel wasn't shocked at all to see Quinn arrive with Sam, deep down she had always felt that Quinn belonged with a man like Sam Evans.. So the music pumped, the alcohol flowed and Rachel was genuinely enjoying herself.

Rachel was talking to Mercedes whom she had not seen in years. She was one of the only Gleeks who had been unable to attend their wedding 5 years ago and they didn't get to talk like they used to.

"I'm sorry I missed your wedding girl, I heard it was epic" she said

"It's okay I understand. Life get's crazy sometimes. It was beautifully perfect, our day could not have been any better. At first when Finn wanted to push our wedding back a couple years I had been devastated but I understand how great a decision that was."

"I will have to come over sometime and hear all about it. Catch up the right way" Mercedes smiled "Can you believe we are 30 ahhh"

30 Years, Rachel thought as she smiled at her friend, what a wild crazy life it had been. She could not wait to see what the next decade brought for them. Rachel had never been so happy and this was just the beginning of all the amazing things they would come to do together. Rachel could feel tears of joy leave her eyes as her husband enveloped her in a giant bear hug and took her hand leading her to her seat

"Our friends want to sing you a song" he whispered in her ear, his lips sending a chill down her back.

The Glee kids all jammed into the small area that was set aside for singing. Their voices melted together in the perfect way that they always had. It was their ability to blend smooth harmonies that had won them two National Show choir Championships.

_Well it was ugly but we made it this far_

_Some have gone but I forget who they are_

_Now the hangovers are worse but we get through them fine_

_Sleeping late but were not lazy_

_Getting older but were still crazy_

_I'm so glad that I have these friends o mine_

_It started out at a coffee shop (Choir Room _Rachel heard someone yell out)

_in a most unlikely town (LIMA OHIO BABY Rachel heard Arties distinct voice)_

_And there were casualties but we made it out anyhow_

_We stuck together through the good and bad times_

_Pulp Fiction, Blazing Saddles, and Fast Times_

_I'm so glad that I have these friends o mine_

_And jobs girls and obstacles did all but break us down_

_Night clubs and broken vans in every major town_

_And I've got your back, you've got mine_

_Like Johnny Cash said "I walk the line"_

_And you can always count on me for one last beer_

The Boys sang

_We saw the world and the world seemed smaller_

_Were getting wider but not getting no taller_

_I know we've grown up just a little lot of time_

The Girls sang

_Were sleeping late but were not lazy_

_Were getting older but were still crazy_

_I'm so glad that I have these friends o mine_

_So glad that I have these friends o mine_

_So glad that I have these friends o mine_

When they were done Rachel had tears streaming down her face. How did she get so lucky to have such a great group of friends. These were people that she had known for most of her adult life. They knew her when she was 16 and obnoxious, stuck by her through all the ups and downs. She really loved these guys. Turning 30 could not have been any better than this.

* * *

By the time they finally got home the early morning rays were beginning to attack the sky around the city.

"Did you have a good time" Finn asked as they were getting changed for bed

"The best" she hugged him "Thanks for arraigning all of this"

"It was my pleasure, it was nice to see everyone again"

"You are a wonderful husband and your going to be an even better daddy" she said softly sitting on the edge of the bed

Finn looked at her a little dumbstruck. They had always talked about starting a family in the future but it wasn't something they brought up very often

"Finn, I'm pregnant, your going to be a Daddy" she said with joy in her voice.

And that was when Finn tackled her the biggest smile across his face.


	20. Epilouge

Well this is it guys! I have had such a wonderful time writing this story and I'm sad it's over but it's time to put this one to rest. Don't worry though I have some great idea for future stories swirling around in my head. Comments are always appreciated.

* * *

June 2026

Rachel shifted uncomfortably in her seat glancing at her husband's still form beside her. She felt like she could vomit, right here, in front of all these people. Kurt would kill her if she got vomit on her Zac Posen gown so she swallowed down her nausea. It was then that she realized she was holding her breath. God she was a mess, she needed to just calm down. She had nothing to worry about she was used to speaking in front of people. Finn squeezed her hand and smiled at her, giving her that crooked smile. Just seeing him made her think if the beautiful baby waiting at home for them. The day Rachel found out she was having a girl Finn actually cried. For as amazing of a husband as he was, he was an even better father. Finn took to fatherhood like a fish takes to water, it was second nature. He loved to take his "girls" around the City and show off just how beautiful his wife and daughter were. Rachel's whole pregnancy had been a life altering experience, she felt so much love in her heart feeling their baby grown within her that she thought she would explode. Finn actually cried harder than her the night their daughter was born and from that moment he made sure he told Rachel how much she loved her every chance he got. And it never got old, they were like teenagers again. All the pain of the past behind them, moving happily into their future.

The stage lights came up and a tall older gentleman approached the podium, a spotlight following him. A cheer rose up through the crowd and he waited for them to silence before he continued.

"The Isabelle Stevensen award is issued to an individual from the theatre community who has made a substantial contribution of time and effort on behalf of one or more humanitarian, social service or charitable organizations, regardless of whether such organizations relate to the theatre. This years recipient has put in many hours and finically backed arts programs across the city of New York and her programs are now spreading statewide. She had given the gift of music and the arts to children across the great state of New York, allowing them creative outlets that they might not have otherwise been able to pursue. Granting a louder, more colorful future to our children. It is my distinct honor to give the Isabelle Stevensen award to Mrs. Rachel Berry-Hudson"

A roar rose up in the crowd as Rachel rose to her feet, tears streaming down her face. Finn hugged his wife tightly and leaned over to whisper in her ear

"Congrats Babe, I love you".

"I love you too Finn" she said turning to make her way up to the stage.

As she climbed the stairs to the stage she could hear her heart beating in her ears. Rachel was not afraid one to be nervous in front of a crowd but this was no normal crowd. These were her idols, colleagues, the nation. She adjusted the microphone pulling it closer to her height.

" Wow, Thank you so much. This is a huge honor and I'm so grateful for your continued recognition in arts education. When I was a young girl growing up in Western Ohio I had 1 goal in mind. To be a big Broadway star and win a bunch of Tony's."

The crowd laughed a little and Rachel felt her body ease up a little.

"But life has other plans for us and my life took a different course that led me to education. This has been an amazing journey and I cannot find the words to explain how much pride my work brings to me. Seeing these kids performing in the arts is indescribable joy. My heart swells with the amount of talent and promise our children contain. I know first hand what it's like to have a good teacher, a person who encourages you and pushes you to be more than you think is possible. Which was not easy to do to 16 year old Rachel Berry" she laughed.

"I would like to thank My Father's for allowing me a life that gave me the ability to dream big and chase those dreams, Mr. William Schuester, for his guidance in my formative years and helping me see who I really was. My wonderful husband Finn for his continued support in my dreams and his unwavering love. You are my rock and I know I can always lean on you. And my beautiful baby Aleasa who has shown me how beautiful life can truly be." Rachel was crying now as a smile crossed her face. "In the words of Journey, who have had so much meaning in my and Finn's life "Circus Life, Under the Big Top World. We all Need the Clowns to make us Smile." I have found my clowns and I don't think I will ever stop smiling.

She hoisted her hand into the air holding the award skyward and said loudly into the microphone "LOOK OUT WORLD, RACHEL BERRY-HUDSON HAS WON A TONY!"


End file.
